My Baby Like Whoa

I had this baby in the house, she was whoa!Had the house stinkin’ up, I mean whoa!Bought her diapers and wipes, I mean whoa!Should’ve seen them sittin’ on her butt like whoa!Now diapers ain’t a problem, see my Huggies like whoa!Pulled out my wipe box on y’all babies like whoa!Floss da booty with Aloe & E like whoa!Mama want my hypoallergenic, I’m like whoa!Read More at

Zombie - Have You Seen Me?

Since I haven’t seen the zombie since the other day, I have come up with an artist’s depiction of what he looks like. Beware if you see anyone who looks like this:Similarities to any rappers are purely a coincidence…Read more of my blog at

Zombie Apocalypse

Are you prepared for a zombie apocalypse?  I sure as hell am not!!  If zombies attacked, I had better hope I have a strong man nearby because I’d be toast.  Seriously.  I will likely hide in the corner and scream like a little school girl.  I keep saying that once I buy my new house, I’m going to build a fall out shelter.  Well, not me… but whomever I can trick into doing it for me.  So far, all I have is a BB gun, and some kitchen knives.  I hope everyone likes ramen noodles and kidney beans....more

In Search of Mouse & Coyote

I was reading today that Korea has successfully cloned a coyote.  I need one.  Not quite as bad as I want a pair of micro piggies, a few hens and a couple of goats but pretty damn bad.  You see, I live in the city… Not like New York City, but as city as you can get for the eastern panhandle of West Virginia.  Despite state laws, they won’t let me shoot intruders in the city!!  I have a lot of shady people walking by my door.  Some I’m pretty sure are a bit schizo.  Not that I’m one to talk, since I’m a neurotic fucking moon bat.  So, since I can’t hav...more

Bribing Readers for Facebook Likes

Thanks to @shellthings who writes, I read an excellent blog entry from @LeslieVeg about “Liking” on Facebook. In the entry, she asks Facebook’s legal team whether or not they allow using Facebook Likes as a bonus entry for product giveaways....more

The Rescue of Stuart Little

I’ve been having a cricket problem lately. I hate crickets. They look like jumping cockroaches to me. In fairness, I hate almost anything with more than 4 legs. I don’t mind some of the glorified bugs like butterflies and lightning bugs but absolutely hate flies and silverfish. Don’t even get me started on spiders. I will run to the opposite end of the house and cry my eyes out over a spider if he’s scary enough or startles me....more