This Is Better

I woke up this morning with various complaints. My eyes were crusted shut. My left arm was basically asleep from being held wonky under and around a five year old who was tucked beside me so I could listen to her breathe (she's sick) ....more

Look At Poor Barbie...

The girl was playing with her Barbies at the hearth yesterday, playing something with Hamm and her dollhouse and there seemed to be goings on having to do with sharing and having good manners and there was possibly a picnic happening.I was sitting on the sofa, swirling in a cloud of sick and Contac watching Mickey Mouse clubhouse because the remote was so far away, when she came over to me with a concerned look and Barbie in her hand."Mommy, how can Barbie be happy?" she asked.I was thinking of the tee shirt from the 90s "because the bitch has everything" as a valid response but refrained as she's only five. "What do you mean?" I asked."Look at poor Barbie, look at her tummy it can't ever be big. She can't ever have babies ....more

I Hate Being Sick Part Two

It was my hope that a solid night's sleep would change my world. A solid night's sleep was not mine for the having.Around 3 am I realized my cough had transitioned from tight.dry and painful in the throat to deep, wet and rattling. My sinuses began to burn and ache, and the sinus draining and filling from one side to the other kept waking me up ....more

I Hate Being Sick

It all started with an intense need to clear my throat. I realize that now, this urge wasn't allergies, it was the hearkening of legitimate illness. I was in Montreal, working, enjoying the icy cold air (man it was cold) and really my other idea was that if it wasn't allergies it was simply the dry air playing hell with my windpipe ....more

My Tag Along

My mom always said that from the time I was able to pull myself up, I was attached to her right leg. I would stand with her while she did the dishes, or toddle along holding her apron (back when she still wore them) or her pants, making sure I was never out of reach of her. She told me that quit wearing shoes in the house after stepping on my tiny toes one too many times.I've realized after two months of her being gone that I never stopped doing that ....more

No Time to Stop

I wonder how those Duggar people do it really. I suppose that they aren't actually all that involved in all of their kids activities, there's almost no way they could be. I feel like with four we never stop ....more

Moving On

That's a sign at my therapists office. I sat next to it and laughed a little while I waited. I'm not always the biggest on motivational stuff but I know that one happens to be a thought that rings true ....more

November 13

My name has 13 letters in it when first and middle are added together. 13 is a magic number in my family, or that's what my parents always told me. My parents met on February 13th ....more

The Things That Stop

In the face of mind numbing grief, I'm realizing that a lot of things don't have the power to bother me anymore. Someone was rude to me on the internet? Hmm, ok whatever ....more

Sweater Weather

I've sat down to write this post three times and can't figure out what to say.Charlie and I are up early, he's an early riser, my Charlie. He comes in and rests his hand on my arm, or my face, and will say "Hi" or "Good Morning". Because Charlie can sometimes get into things he shouldn't so when Charlie is awake, it's prudent to get up too ....more