Women Ashamed of Financial Abuse

A woman contacted me recently asking what she could do to learn more about her marital finances. She explained that her husband became angry when she wanted to participate in financial decisions, teasing her she never had a head for numbers and asking her "Don't you trust me?" She was starting to feel hemmed in by his controlling behavior and wondered if I could help her....more

A Financial Intimacy Valentine

Ladies, this love letter is for your husband who may not read Blogher columns.Print it out and let him read it.Hi guys,Here’s an idea for Valentine’s Day that you husbands may not have considered. Unlike many of the gifts you’ve been conditioned to equate with love, this gift won’t cost you any money . In fact, you will reap rewards far beyond your expectations. You might even wind up spending the day in bed - together. The gift? It's called financial intimacy....more

Abusers and Valentines

Valentine’s Day will soon be here accompanied by the buying frenzy of flowers, jewelry, sexy lingerie, chocolates and other gifts we've been told equate with love. Culturally, women are so conditioned to respond to Valentine’s Day that even in financially abusive relationships, receiving a Valentine gift or card from their  lover or spouse renews a woman's hope for a loving future together....more

Your Husband Can’t Read Your Mind

Actually, no one can.  Yet this is one of the biggest myths surrounding romance and marriage . “If he really loves me, he would  know what I want.” How can your husband or boyfriend know that?He didn’t learn it from his mother, who probably behaved the same way you are and didn’t ask for what she wanted or needed either. His father may have been clueless about what his mother wanted for the same reason....more

The Facelift that Sparked a Divorce

When Inge told her husband she planned a face lift, he said that they couldn’t afford it. She thought they could; she asked Harry to show her the books.   He got angry, called her a shrew, a nag, and an ungrateful bitch of a wife, then stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.  I met Inge when she attended my seminar a few weeks after that incident. Recently, I saw her again on the walking trail. Animated and radiant, she looked years younger than I remembered her. She brought me up to date....more

“Don’t You Trust Me?”

Too many brides hear this question from their fiancée before the wedding. It’s usually about money and it’s usually because the couple hasn’t openly and honestly discussed one of the most important components for their upcoming marriage.  Who wants to spoil the euphoria of wedding plans and the excitement of honeymoon planning by discussing money? Many women won’t take a chance of bringing up a subject which, in the past, has made her future husband impatient, sometimes even angry? ...more

Financial Drama in a Book Store

In ‘The Little Prince’ by Antoine de St. Exupery, the little prince tells a man that he can’t linger but must get back to his own planet to feed his fox and water his flower. The man encourages him to stay, saying ‘the fox is wild and the flower will take care of itself’. The little prince answers, ”You become responsible for what you tame”....more

Married Couples are Business Partners

You may not like thinking about your marriage this way, but if you live in a community property state, your husband, by definition, is also your business partner. The business you are building together is called marriage.The community property states are Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin....more

It's the Worst Time of Year to Get Engaged

Did you know that 26% of all engagements occur at Christmas time? Tucked right in there with all the excitement, stress and partying of the holiday season, a man and woman decide to commit their future to each other. It's the worst time of the year to make such an important decision.An engagement ring is not a gift, like jewelry or a cashmere sweater. The ring is the beginning of a commitment that you fulfill when you marry. If either of you decide not to marry, you have to return the ring....more
completely agree!more

Job First, Then the Wedding

This post is verbatim from an Ask Amy column, written by Amy Dickinson, one of the smartest, most practical and ethical syndicated columnists. Thank you Amy!!...more