20 Things You Never Want To Hear From Your Kids

There are few things as important to parents as communication with our kids. From the time they’re born we can’t wait to hear what they’re thinking—like what’s going on in their heads when they spend 20 minutes laughing crazily at a beam of sunshine, and why do they insist on eating random things they find on the sidewalk?!? We want them to understand us when we say, “Don’t put your gum on the dinner table—this is why we can’t have nice things!” and for them to be able to just tell us what’s bothering them instead of screaming inconsolable toddler-babble about it for two hours straight ....more

37 Ways To Fail At Perfection

If you've spent much time on this planet, at some point or another you've felt pressure to be perfect. Maybe that pressure was coming from someone else, and maybe it was coming from within yourself—a little teenage-you voice inside your head telling you that a pimple on the end of your nose was the end of the world, or a mom-you voice saying that you should do more baking or crafting or that you should actually be able to remember all your kid's friends' moms' names, which frankly I don't even think is scientifically possible—but one way or another we've all felt the pressure to be more. Be better ....more

The Ultimate Automated Dial-In Menu For Moms

As much as I hate getting stuck on the phone with a robotic voice every time I try to call the cable company, I understand why it’s a necessary evil. I mean, they can’t possibly have a real person field millions of random requests and complaints 24 hours a day! Hmmm… ....more

My Kid Is Doing Honesty Wrong

I swear, I try my best to raise my kids right. Well, maybe "try" and "my best" are a bit too strong. And "right" isn't exactly...more

5 Ways to Preserve a Happy Marriage

If there's one thing I'm great at, prior divorce notwithstanding, it's being married. I know a lot of people say marriage requires a lot of work, but I'm not one of them. Maintenance, maybe, but "work" makes it sound like an endless stream of constant drudgery, when in fact research suggests that a solid marriage is actually only 5% drudgery and 80% awesomeness, with a 15% margin of error to allow for how I feel about it when I'm PMSing ....more

How To Get the Most Out Of Your Ugly Christmas Sweater

I was the proud owner of an ugly Christmas sweater a number of years ago, which I purchased as a joke (aren't they always?) and wore proudly...exactly once. Don't get me wrong—I love the humor of a ridiculously ugly holiday sweater, and we all know I'm far from afraid to embarrass myself for a good laugh. But I'd never bought another one because I thought, "Why spend money on something I'll only wear once and then stick in a drawer until next year?" I'm willing to bet you've thought the same thing yourself ....more

My Worst-Kept Cleaning Secret

The life cycle of clutter begins with small, manageable collections of things you’ll deal with later: a neat stack of mail you don’t have time to read, a broken toy you can’t fix right now because it’s lunch time, a few pairs of shoes that seem to multiply by the door. The collections grow. Neat stacks become piles ....more

There's More Than One Way To #WIN at Potty Training

I'm teaming up with Kandoo to share a fun way to celebrate the potty training process, plus a chance to win one of 50 Potty Training Prize Packs. Scroll to the bottom of this post to enter to win one of 50 Potty Prize Kits from Kandoo! Hosting your own potty training party is easy! ...more

99 Ways Moms REALLY Spend Time At a National Park

Last week, I got an email letting me know that the National Park Service is turning 99 years old on August 25 (look at that, 'Merica - we're getting all grown up!) and to celebrate, they're waiving entrance fees at all their parks on their birthday. They also sent me a list of 99 ways to #FindYourPark, including items like "Make a memory." Or, be seen yelling, "HEY, WAIT UP GUYS, WHERE THE %$&@* DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?" Oh, we parents are sure to make a memory almost every time we take our kids anywhere, but probably not exactly the ones we hoped we'd make. So, to give myself an excuse to tell you to GET OUT TO YOUR NEAREST NATIONAL PARK and enjoy time with your children, while simultaneously reminding you why you never bother taking your children anywhere, I wrote a 99-item list too! ...more

Lots Of Things About Fall Stink, But This Doesn't

Back to School is coming fast, and I'm teaming up with Febreze In-Wash Odor Eliminator to offer a back to school giveaway. One winner will take home a $100 Walmart gift card, $50 Dicks Sporting Goods gift card plus Febreze In-Wash Odor Eliminator to help you expel the smell. Undo the Pee Yew So much for back to school, it's time to get back to STINK ....more