Where is MY rock bottom?

I cannot imagine what my rock bottom would be.  The things "normal" people take for granted, I cannot do.  My weight has crippled me.  I can barely reach my butt to wipe it.  I can't shave my legs, cut my own toenails, fit in seats, fit in public bathrooms, walk more than a few steps...what is my rock bottom?  I'm so miserable in my own skin.  But instead of doing something about it...I post my frustrations on here.  My kid asks me if I am going to die.  I can't really reassure her because every day I stay this weight I AM slowly dying.  My recen...more

The weight of being overweight

I am invisable.  People snicker, point, outright laugh...stage whisper.  Apparently when you are fat, you are also presumed to be deaf.  Realistically, I got here one coca cola and snicker bar combo at a time.  Emotionally I am a wreck.  I feel very defeated and hopeless to change this fat trap I am in.  I built a large mound of adipose tissue to protect me...from what?  I don't know.  I somehow got in the mind frame that I DESERVED to eat whatever I wanted.  Don't I desrve it?  I mean I have quit smoking, I don't drink and I did beat cancer...more

Musings of a fat, pregnant lady

I am convinced that I am a lucky woman.  I was diagnosed with non hodgkins lymphoma 9 months ago while i was 22 weeks pregnant.  I had been told it would be difficult for me to get pregnant AND I was a 35 year old, obese smoker.  Talk about the odds being against you!  I became symptomatic at 3 months pregnant.  I saw multiple doctors...the answer was the same.  I was told I was fat and pregnant and that's why I couldn't breathe.  As it turns out, it actually was a grapefruit sized tumor that was occluding my superior vena cava and causing shortness of bre...more