Looking for My Son's Mother on Facebook

I thought I'd found my son's mother....more

Thank you, Facebook for Keeping Me Smart and Engaged as an Older Adult

It's not unusual for me to know what's happening across town in a confrontation between police and protesters before there's any mention in the traditional media. How? I see it on Facebook. A trusted Facebook friend, say, the guy who works for the ACLU or a well-known community organizer, will post the latest news on Facebook. Often there are photos or video. This is of value to me - getting information in real time, especially if it involves big, important issues in my town....more

Raising Strong Girls Starts with Doing, Not Watching

Some people who were walking on the trail stopped to watch us slowly ride by, my daughter, granddaughter and me, on our rented horses following Amanda, our guide. They waved at us and told us to have a good time but gave the appearance of finding three women and a 10-year old girl on horses on a horse trail in a part of San Diego County layered with riding stables as something unusual and worth watching....more

I Went to a Funeral Today

We were the last to come. The trip was longer than we'd planned and by the time we got to the church, nearly all the pews were filled.My old friend stood at the front of the church, a small cluster of people around her. An arm's length away, her daughter lay in a casket, her black hair splayed across a satin pillow and a bouquet of flowers at her waist. A small poster of the Virgin Mary was propped on the casket's lid. She was still like a painted wooden statue, her extraordinary light gone, doused. There were only a few hints left of the exotically beautiful girl she had been....more

The False Liberation of Swearing

Swearing is liberating. Cursing, using foul language, whatever you want to call it can make a person feel tougher, more powerful. A woman cursing says she could give a s**t about what other people think, she's unaware or uncaring about what's ladylike and what's not. She can go to work, come home to kids, swear a blue streak and fry it up on a pan. Oh yeah. No f**king kidding. Swearing women think saying f**k a lot reduces their vulnerability to the universe. At least that's what I always thought....more

When Peaches Aren't Ripe: 5 Ways My Youth Disappointed Me

We give youth everything. We give them looks. We give them brains. We give them energy. We give them political power.And then we sit aside and envy. Oh. If we were young, we'd be beautiful and so brilliant, incandescent in our energy and defining in our politics. If we were young, we would change the world....more

Dining Alone: The Journal from Awful to Lovely

The first time I ate dinner alone in a restaurant I had fettuccine in cream sauce with peas. There’s a name for that dish but I don’t remember it. I do remember holding a biography of Princess Diana on my lap, a hardcover book, one of a dozen I’d bought at the Harvard bookstore where I occupied myself in the appearance of intellectual pursuits while imagining my study group huddled around a table in a dark bar telling jokes and drinking expensive beer....more

What the Supreme Court Decision Means to Me As a Pre-Roe v. Wade Survivor

I know the fear. I remember everything about it. Being afraid of doing something illegal. Being afraid of getting hurt. Being afraid of bleeding to death. Being afraid of being so damaged that I wouldn't be able to have children when it was the right time. ...more
Thank you for being so generous. It IS generous to share something so personal with others, and ...more

My Father's Day Message to Young Dads

 Here's my Father"s Day message to Dads, especially young Dads. You matter. It doesn't matter what your wife or your girlfriend says. It doesn't matter if you don't know how to do anything useful or even if you have a job. You matter. Don't buy into any of the junk that you hear that your kids will be fine without you. They won't....more

A Long Time Coming: Getting to Know My Father

 It didn't take long for my father to develop an email style. His very first email carried what would become his signature farewell. TIE. Take it easy. Sometimes he added SIT. Stay in touch....more