My Father Mended Me

If I Was Rachel Dolezal's Mother

As per usual, I identify with the parents. It is a very bitter pill to swallow to have an adult child completely repudiate her past and, in so doing, her origins, her upbringing, her parents, whatever roots she must have had as a child. The countless dinners, holidays, school events, late homework nights, prom dates, college applications, the work of  raising a child, pretty much tossed because it didn't fit Rachel Dolezal's new identity....more

From One Old Gal to Another: Thank You Caitlyn Jenner

Caitlyn Jenner's Vanity Fair photos made me feel fabulous. I love that she's 65. I love that in transitioning to being out as a woman, she went for broke. I love the message of power and controlling one's destiny. I love her hair and her look and her obvious decision not to hold any part of her dream in reserve. Image via: Vanity Fair...more
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Wishing for Monsters Under the Bed

I wish I had been less worried.If you ask me how I wish my childhood had been different, that would be my answer. I wish I had been less worried....more

On Generosity in Blogging

I’m working on being a more generous blogger. This means reading, liking and promoting the work of other writers.Why is this so hard for me?My first answer is that I’m a competitive person. That’s an easy answer. It’s like answering “I work too hard” when asked by a prospective employer to name your biggest fault....more

Go Play Outside: Finding Happiness in Purposelessness

 Once I gave my three younger kids a bucket of big nails and a hammer and told them to go make a life raft from wood they could find on the beach. I watched from our porch. The gathering, the lining up, the arguing, the hammering, the deciding that nails alone were inadequate. Rope was needed. I gave them rope and then sat down again. I like watching other people's industry even if they are just children....more

Autism Mom: I'm with You

I'm not an autism mom but that doesn't mean I don't get it. I get it. The world and everything in it has to be okay for all of us - the halt and the lame, as a professor of mine used to say. And I count myself in that fine company, the company of the halt and the lame, my blessed hearing disability that has me twirling in confusion at the boarding instructions, asking total strangers to mouth the words SHE CALLED GROUP THREE to me....more
Hi, Jan, I totally agree that there needs to be more training regarding autism.  I also agree ...more

Pajama Party

The ultimate triumph was buying medium pajamas.My physical self lost twenty pounds In the last year but in my head, I had lost a hundred. In the swirling mass that is my daytime mind, I had become rail thin, my jeans held up only by my sharply angled hip bones, books could be stacked on those bones. The change in my head was dramatic. I was wearing size 10 jeans. I felt like Audrey Hepburn....more

Is Adoption the Same Only Better?

Facing the Sun

I criticized my sister's vanity. She lived in California and she would never let the sun touch her face. She owned a house with a backyard pool but never swam.  It baffled me and made me feel inferior, short-sighted, as if I didn't understand the sacrifices one must make. It was like a diet with no end in sight. Permanent deprivation....more