On Generosity in Blogging

I’m working on being a more generous blogger. This means reading, liking and promoting the work of other writers.Why is this so hard for me?My first answer is that I’m a competitive person. That’s an easy answer. It’s like answering “I work too hard” when asked by a prospective employer to name your biggest fault....more

Go Play Outside: Finding Happiness in Purposelessness

 Once I gave my three younger kids a bucket of big nails and a hammer and told them to go make a life raft from wood they could find on the beach. I watched from our porch. The gathering, the lining up, the arguing, the hammering, the deciding that nails alone were inadequate. Rope was needed. I gave them rope and then sat down again. I like watching other people's industry even if they are just children....more

Autism Mom: I'm with You

I'm not an autism mom but that doesn't mean I don't get it. I get it. The world and everything in it has to be okay for all of us - the halt and the lame, as a professor of mine used to say. And I count myself in that fine company, the company of the halt and the lame, my blessed hearing disability that has me twirling in confusion at the boarding instructions, asking total strangers to mouth the words SHE CALLED GROUP THREE to me....more
Hi, Jan, I totally agree that there needs to be more training regarding autism.  I also agree ...more

Pajama Party

The ultimate triumph was buying medium pajamas.My physical self lost twenty pounds In the last year but in my head, I had lost a hundred. In the swirling mass that is my daytime mind, I had become rail thin, my jeans held up only by my sharply angled hip bones, books could be stacked on those bones. The change in my head was dramatic. I was wearing size 10 jeans. I felt like Audrey Hepburn....more

Is Adoption the Same Only Better?

Facing the Sun

I criticized my sister's vanity. She lived in California and she would never let the sun touch her face. She owned a house with a backyard pool but never swam.  It baffled me and made me feel inferior, short-sighted, as if I didn't understand the sacrifices one must make. It was like a diet with no end in sight. Permanent deprivation....more

I Get Toya Graham

Do I think Toya Graham is a hero? No. I think she's a mom who went completely off her nut when she caught her son throwing rocks at the police in Baltimore. And I get that. I really do. She saw him in a bad place and she was having none of it. She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him down the street, all the while smacking him on the head. In my book, she saved her boy from ending up in jail or worse....more

Playing the Long Game

For all my brave talk, all my "I'm really Stevie Nicks" under these black dress pants and sensible shoes, for all my aging is a joyous, beautiful thing, a lucky thing, priceless if you take it in the right way, all my advice to quit thinking you're diminishing when you should be looking at your vast accumulation of riches, I have to admit this. I am legacy planning.I am thinking about when I am not here....more

Sometimes a Rainbow Appears

It is the only story about a rainbow that I have. But it's a good one.We were swimming in a lake. It was dusk. All of the other people had left. The beach was littered with the debris of a fine day, the smell of a dozen barbecue grills floating out over the water....more

The Movie Never Ends: A Grandmother's Advice to Young Moms

Dear young mom,You look at me and see a grandmother who had her chance. You figure what I could tell you about being a mother would begin and end with a rotary phone. Nothing I know would apply now in this whole different world, more enlightened, informed, nutritious....more