Cramming for Finals

Dylan will be two in just a couple of months. Two. Years. Old. I think about that constantly, and yet still cannot seem to fully process this information. Because I just gave birth to her, like, yesterday. How does this happen? So, since my darling little girl will be an ACTUAL little girl soon, I've been thinking a lot about the things that we (I) need to accomplish before too long. It feels like we'll be graduating, moving onto the next stage, and while I'm hoping there isn't an actual test at the end of this term, I realize there are certain milestones one is expected to master....more
You seem like a great mama!! And I laughed out loud when you said toddlers are insane little ...more

Of. Course.

I am not a particularly “girly” woman. I’m feminine and all woman baby, but dainty and foofoo and precious? Nope. I’m more Katherine Hepburn than Marilyn Monroe. So it totally makes sense that my daughter, fruit of my loins, would be a complete, pinkified, tutu-ed with a pair of glittery fairy wings, PRINCESS. Hold me. ...more

The Exact Moment

It hit me as I was putting groceries into the car. I looked over at her, sitting in the cart with her sunglasses on, hair in a ponytail, laughing at airplanes and talking a mile a minute about God knows what, and suddenly my breath caught in the back of my throat, and the backs of my knees got cold, and the rushing in my ears drowned out all other noise, and I realized: My baby is GONE. ...more


Two weeks. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve been here. Two weeks. That’s a long time, in blog time. I’ve missed it, have missed you all, but can I be honest? It’s been…nice. Quiet (ish) (I do still have the Queen D running around at full steam, natch). I’ve been ridiculously busy and crazed and stressed on more days than not in the last 14, but I feel at peace. Let me tell you why…...more


Sigh. It's been over a week since I've been here, in this place I love so much. Over a week since I've been able to stop and listen to the words in my brain, and have enough time to put them down. It's been a blur of toddlers and work and comings and goings and meals and cleaning and barely seeing the husband and and and and and. Sigh. Things have changed quite a bit in the last month. I started working, which is GOOD, but it's a lot. Husband got a new job, which is AMAZING, but takes him away now, instead of letting him be here a lot....more

Wishful Thinking

My job is pretty boring. Not boring, in the "oh my god snooooooooooooze" kinda way, but in the repetitive, brain on auto-pilot, kinda way. So most nights, I tend to zone out and my mind wanders and when my mind wanders I come up with some really weird shit....more

New to Us

I made a quasi resolution in the beginning of year that I didn't share with anyone, because I was absolutely positive that it would be broken, like, later that day. The resolution was to go the entire year without buying anything NEW for me and the girl child....more

Her Face is Not My Face

She has my hands. Long, slender fingers that will turn upwards when held palm down. She has my skin, translucent, pale, with just a hint of pink. Her hair feels like mine, baby fine and wispy. She laughs like I do, with her whole self. She laughs at the same things too. When she can't do something, her cheeks flush and she stomps her foot and I can feel the rage bubbling up inside, percolating at the surface, threatening to boil over. I can feel it because it bubbles in me too. We're both quick to smile, and even quicker to strike....more

She's a Dirty Little Bird

From the First Addition Dictionary of Dylan Rose: JUMP (actual word): dump (Dylan-ism) FORK: f*ck (this one brings me endless hours of entertainment) SPOON: poon (combine with FORK for an extra kick) APPLE: ass (can be used with any of the above for even more inappropriate laughs) BLUEBERRIES: booze (even more awesome when she asks for them in public) Right now, she's putting together sentences using 3-4 words, so you can imagine how often I try to work these words into our conversations....more

Total Recall

Having a baby WRECKED my memory. I used to pride myself on being able to remember everything, without having to write stuff down or leave myself reminders. Not anymore. Now, I remember stuff, but stuff that has literally no bearing on my life. Like, I remember the phone number for the first house I remember living in. But I can't remember my own phone number. Like, my CURRENT phone number. My brain is filled to the brim with completely useless crap. Which would suck, except I've apparently given birth to Little Miss Memory. Dylan remembers everything....more