Seven Days of Falafel

Everyone knows we've been trying to have another baby and if you read my blog you know that so far we have not been successful. And if you've ever been on the unsuccessful baby making train you know it can get a little crazy tracking when you ovulate (toot, toot) and when you do the deed (woo, woo). It can be a little tiring and sort of takes the fun out everything. We already have our train tickets purchased for next week. All aboard...next stop baby town!Last month I saw a show on Lifetime about, well, let's just call it the Seven Days of Falafel....more
Laughing - There was a day when I loved a good falafel.  You might have a good point there.more

gone

All the words I have to say seem inadequate.  Me, who is never at a loss for words, suddenly doesn't know what to say.  To say that grief has been a prominent part of my life this past year has been an understatement.  We've lost several family friends...you know those friends of your parents who've known you since you were in diapers...and knowing my father grieves is hard.  We've just recently had another miscarriage.  And last night I got an email that an old friend had committed suicide on Monday.  Suicide.  My heart lumps into a hard ball and ...more
I'm so sorry for your loss.more

Loss

After I had my first miscarriage it seemed like people came out of the woodwork to tell me they too had had a miscarriage.  I didn’t realize first pregnancy miscarriages were so common.  I remember someone even telling me about their 4 or 5 miscarriages and saying to Paul that I didn’t think I could go through that.  The loss of our first baby was so painful even though I was only 10 weeks along.  I felt like my heart was breaking.  And then we had our Emma.  She truly is the light of our lives and makes my heart feel overwhelmed with love for her and I...more

A Love Letter

Dear Tripp,I know we've never met.  I don't know your mom or your family nor can I imagine how emotional the last two and a half years have been for them.  I can't imagine what it has been like to be a mom of a sick child.  But I've followed your mom's blog for the last several months.  I've gone back and read some of what she wrote about you in your first year of life.  The love that your mom has for you has shown through her blog.  Every post she writes is a testament to her faith in God and her faith in you.  Even though I don't know you...more

My husband's deployment (in his words)

I’m currently sitting in the Boston airport awaiting a flight to Baltimore. I get to stay there for about 24 hours and then take a flight to Kuwait and then to Afghanistan. Since this is my first post I figured I would take a moment to reflect on my thoughts in regards to my deployment.The idea of landing in a warzone and spending 6 months surrounded by “hundreds of thousands of people who want me dead” (as one of my predeployment training instructors said) has created next to zero concern for me so far....more

Oh, what a beautiful letter. Thank you so much for sharing it with us here.

AV Flox is ...more

Less Than a Week

Chest tight, heart pounding...I feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest and it's hard to breathe.  Tears are very close to the surface and I struggle to keep it together just as much as I struggle to eat my ahi tuna wontons and goat cheese salad.  Keep breathing.  Keep breathing.  "Take my pulse."  "What?"  "Take my pulse," I say again to my sister the RN.  "I don't have a watch."  "Use your phone," I tell her, "Please, my chest is so tight."  She pulls out her phone and puts her fingers on my wrist (how do nurses always know the rig...more

Weight Watchers--the first 3 days

Day 1 As my weight loss plan of breastfeeding, walking up & down the stairs 900 times per day carrying my daughter, and eating whatever junk food I want doesn't seem to be working for me I decided to suck it up and join Weight Watchers...again...for the 3rd time.  The only consistent thing I've done in my life is quit Weight Watchers.  Not because it doesn't work, but because I'm a gluttonous pig who enjoys alcohol and appetizers too much.  I could live off chicken wings and ...more

Functioning

You might never have guessed.  Certainly no one who knew them professionally would have ever known....more

God's Message in Unexpected Places

If you follow my blog or follow my FB then you have read about my struggle with post-partum depression and anxiety.  For me, it has really been more about the anxiety and yesterday as I read about the anniversary of the loss of a child I knew I had a difficult time as I imagined what that loss must feel like.  I know what I imagine cannot even come close to how painful that must truly be.  As I lay in bed crying Paul kept asking me what was wrong and I asked him how he doesn't worry about SIDS.  He said honestly the only time he thinks about it at all is when I bring it ...more

Supermom: A story of post-partum depression

I thought I could be a supermom.  When I envisioned my post pregnancy life I envisioned myself doing it all...taking care of baby, cloth diapering, laundry put away, house clean, breastfeeding, exercising, babywearing, hair & make up did, smile on my face.  Yes, my vision was basically that of a 1950's housewife except without the high heels, dress, and apron (okay, an apron might be cool, but the dress and heels might be pushing it).  What I didn't envision was the overwhelming feelings of failure that I would have when I couldn't do it all.  My labor and de...more

I've been where you are. You have all these expectations of parenting, and then you become so ...more