Countdown to January 2

You're going to be mighty impressed, but at my work bowling event last night, I rolled a 66 and a 69. When I got a 69, Ryan said, "That's hot." Mature. My team was named Pinterest and so we all wore a pin ....more

The one where June does her makeup and blogs at the same time. The one where June NEEDS BOTOX SO BAD OHMYGOD.

I went to bed kind of late last night after my office party, not that it went on forever, really, but I got home around 9:00 and then wanted to watch the rest of this old movie I recorded. Dear Mom: I figured out I could record movies on our TV. It's like we're The Jetsons! ...more

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Yesterday, we had our ugly sweater party.brunch at work, and I meant to put a slash there, but that period between the words seems so modern, like I'm creating one of those really stark websites everyone thinks is so cool now. What's the word everyone uses now? Clean ....more

The only David X Cohen in the book

That's a line from The Way We Were: The only David X Cohen in the book. It's who Barbra Streisand marries after Robert Redford, and really, how do you follow up Robert Redford, especially when you're a stumpy chubby Jewish schlub, which is how I picture David X Cohen. The point is, Talu has a cone ....more

F

It's Sunday night and I'm bloging now, because I know I have to spend between 8 fucking a.m. and 8:30 fucking a.m. Monday on the phone to my mortgage company, because their fucking website will not work and I can't pay my mortgage and it will be considered late on the six fucking teenth and I will have a late fucking fee. MERRRRRRY CHRISTMAS! So knowing I have to do that tomorrow, I'm blogging now with a special post titled, Don't Say Fuck a Lot ....more

Soulmate

You know I don't believe in soulmates, but that is because I had yet to meet J. We work together, and she is on the newsletter staff, and I am the proud editor of said staff, so that is how we met and fell in love. Somehow one day we got to talking about makeup, which probably started out with me saying something like, "I like your concealer ....more

Refridge

Last weekend, when Ned and I were at that on-the-streets Christmas celebration, we went to a store that sells vintage, and right here I'd like to apologize to my friend Kit, because I bought a vintage coat for $45. It's dark blue wool with big cool buttons and a cream fur collar. Yesterday, at my 3:00 walk with my coworkers, I also had to wear a hat because it's effing cold, but the only hat I had was my leopard one that you all admired ....more

Things I forgot to tell you

Funky Cold Medina was playing while they did my recent biopsy. I mentioned it to the doctor, who said they have an interesting selection of music there. I mean, Funky Cold Medina ....more

My teeth feel as though they've been wrapped in tight individual nooses

How do you know if you have a sinus infection? ...more

And that's why I don't like corn.

Once Ned's sister was riding in the car with her husband, in relative silence, when all of a sudden he said, "And that's why I don't like corn." "...You were just having a conversation with me in your mind, weren't you?" she asked. He admitted he kinda was. Today's assignment is, in the comments, give me the rest of the story ....more