If I will it, it will happen

I want to go drink margaritas and eat queso with Anna Kendrick, Sara Bareilles, and Jennifer Lawrence. Fuck and yes.What do you mean why? Because it would be awesome that's why! ...more

I Bought Boxed Valentines This Year and I Felt Guilty

At Target yesterday I had a fleeting moment of sanity and decided to hell with it. I bought two boxes of Valentines, some bubbles, bouncy balls, and declared them Good Enough. I felt a big fat pinch of guilt. I genuinely felt bad for forcing store-bought cards upon my kids. How disappointing for them!...more
This parent guilt has just gotten way too out of hand. I applaud those parents that have the ...more

Books that ruin it for everyone else: I need a book!

Does that ever happen to you? You read a book that pulls you in so fully that it leaves other books feeling shrug-worthy? Oh, how nice. A book. Meh.In 2011, it was the The Night Circus....more

Today is not a Usually Day

The scene: TargetCast of characters: Me, a cart, and a not-quite 4-year old who started his day at 4:30 this morning.Worth noting: Today was Errand Day. Target was the third store in two hours....more
Hahahahaha. He's cute! Dammit!more

Safe: How I'll Talk to My Kids About Newtown

During one of the first weeks of Kindergarten my daughter came home and told me they practiced hiding. Huh? "You know. In case a stranger comes to school, so we be safe," she told me. "Mrs. J locks the door and turns off the lights and we all go to our hiding places." It was all very matter of fact. I asked JP if his class practiced hiding, too. "Oh yeah. It's like a fire drill or tornado drill, you know, just in case." "So we be safe."...more
It is instinct to want to guard our children from all harm, but knowing they have a personal ...more

It's Liz's fault

Elf on the Shelf.I hate, hate, Elf on the Shelf.How's the introduction of the elf work anyway?Mom: Hey kids! Not only is an old fat guy watching you, here's a creepy, floppy piece of felt with no discernible appendages, a permanent smirk, and a head that can rotate all. the. way. around who is reporting your every move to the aforementioned old fat guy.Kids: YAY!!!Mom: Isn't voyeurism fun?!? Scoot along and behave. The elf is watching!...more

Food allergies are really real

A mom in Canada wants the oak trees near her kids' schools cut down because of peanut allergies. Here's the takeaway if you don't have the time to read a story about Stupid: ...more
@Skye I understand the initial, "What the hell am I supposed to feed them?" response. I do. ...more

I'm thankful for sarcasm

It's November which is every blog reader's dream. Such a plethora of riveting, mind-blowing posts await us in November.IT'S EPIC, Y'ALL.Except it's not.(#sarcasm)Why November Blog Posts Make Me Cranky (while numbered, they're in no particular order regarding the level of irritation)...more
@erelyea :::fist bump:::more

Sunday morning airing of grievences

Note: I'm tired. Really, really tired. And this post was written prior to ingesting my frist cup of coffee. 1) My dogs. They’re assholes. Barking, muddy paws, and suddenly becoming incontinent because ZOMG it’s raining outside. Jerks.2) Three- year olds. THE HELL? I bribe you to poop, every meal is hand delivered, you have more toys than FAO Schwartz. Yet you still have tantrums? A little over-dramatic, don’t you think?...more

One Time, I Made My Daughter Cry...

I'm not naive enough to believe that just because my child is seven, she can't be disappointed and hurt. The Nutcracker isn't a little recital piece. It's not a school show. It's serious production and a Big Damn Deal, and I had serious reservations that my sweet SG would have a spot after eight ballet lessons -- six of which happened three months before her audition. But she wanted to try and I wasn't going to stop her. I prepped her as best I could. ...more
You made me cry! :)more