I can't be your grandbabymama

I think I can understand why you want a grandchild.After all, many years ago, you wanted a child. You could picture a baby crib filling the empty corner in the unused office overlooking the driveway. You flipped through magazines, furnishing the room with ideas.Then, finally, you were pregnant. You furnished the room for real, this time: crib, changing table, soft animals, color....more

Being childfree doesn't mean you owe an explanation or self-deprecation

Lilit Marcus' Mother's Day article in the Guardian, Just because I love my mother doesn't mean I have to become one myself, responds to the assumption some people have that women who don't want children must have had a psychologically or emotionally damaging upbringing. Unfortunately, she responds in a way that harms rather than helps....more

Screw the Beauty Standards Created by Marketing Teams

I was thrilled and honored to be selected for this interview originally posted at the fantastic new website Real Women's Bodies. I was given permission by the site owner and interviewer to repost the interview here as it appears on the site....more
Great interview! The perspective-switch letters idea is really intriguing, and we all need ...more

Childfree Response to "Of Pleasure and Parenthood"

I call this "On pleasure and personhood -- the final word." Last year I was visiting my childhood friend, now a mother, when dinner time arrived. She squirted ketchup onto her daughter’s plate and then her son’s. And then mine. I looked at it. She immediately recognized her mistake and laughed. She knew I could squirt my own ketchup, she said, but she was just so used to doing it … she apologized (still laughing) for overstepping her role as “mother” by inadvertently mothering me. ...more
WereNotHavingaBaby nothavingababy I agree! Most, if not all, women who choose not to have ...more

17 truths about the childfree

Note: This blog post first appeared at the website SylviaDLucas.com, where I write about childfree topics under the name Sylvia D. Lucas....more
@Rita Arens True, Rita, that one only knows one's own experience. I don't deny (nor should ...more

Should being built "like a 5th grade boy" make someone a willing target?

Talk show host Wendy Williams once said she would love to see full-figured Adele naked in a PETA advertisement (whose images of naked women have somehow not convinced me to stop eating chicken). Here is Willimas’ quote (read the full article at the Huffington Post):...more
Well said. Nice example turning Wendy's words around to the other foot. The world will be a ...more

You are going to die (and other stress relievers)

I can't be the only one, when watching morning shows or scrolling through Twitter or Facebook, who's thinking pleasefortheloveofgodjustshutup, who empathizes with the character Michael Douglas plays in the movie Falling Down....more

I probably am more carefree as a childfree person. Why do you think I didn’t want kids?

In another room on BlogHer, Schmutzie lists "17 Untruths Parents Believe about Non-Parents." Among them, that the childfree can be late to bed and late to rise, have better (and more frequent) sex, and have all kinds of free time for fun stuff.And over on the fantabulous website DINKlife.com, Tricia W. writes,...more

Will the childfree regret their decision later?

A man in his early thirties who, along with his wife, isn’t sure he ever wants kids asked this question on an internet forum I frequent:Do you regret not having kids?Everyone’s answer: “No.”I always think the “regret” question (or, sometimes, curse – “You’ll regret it!”) is a little weird, because it creates – as I see it, anyway – a paradox....more

You'll love your body when we say you can

Cyndi Lee, author of  May I Be Happy: a Memoir of Love, Yoga, and Changing My Mind, said in a recent NPR interview that while on a mission to find inner peace, she thought about the Buddha’s belief that everyone experiences suffering. But Lee didn’t feel like she was suffering, she said. She had a good life and was pretty happy. “But then I started wondering if while I was here I could lose five pounds,” she said (paraphrased). And that was her suffering, she realized – making herself feel bad about her body....more
This is soooo true. Yes. Exactly. (Sadly.)more