How To Teach Kids About Marriage Equality

One objection to marriage equality that I encounter frequently is the argument that allowing gay and lesbian couples to marry damages family institutions. First, there’s the assertion that marriage equality somehow fucks up existing marriages. I don’t get this ....more

What Did Santa Ever Do to You?

It’s that holly, jolly, jiggly, wiggly time of year, y’all! Time for lights and spiked eggnog and extended family and Jesus and eating your feelings. It’s the most wonderful time of year! ...more

The Internet is Making You a Bad Parent

The interwebs is an amazing place. It has completely redefined how we communicate. It has transformed the way the news works and has made everyday people producers and transmitters of knowledge ....more

2014 Gag Gift Guide

Looking for the perfect gift for that white elephant party you’ve got coming up? Or maybe you’re just in the market for a little something that’ll elicit two GUFFAWS and a HOOT on Christmas morning. Whatever your pleasure, check out my top Amazon* gag gift choices plus one totally serious gift choice, complete with personal […] ...more

All I want for Christmas is two butt cheeks…

…that are as plump as juicy peaches instead of as saggy as bags of rotten cottage cheese. Among other things. As our kids prepare their wishlists for Santa, I’m preparing a wishlist of my own, and it goes a little something like this: All I want for Christmas is… …for Baby Sammich to sleep through […] ...more

Sh*t That’s Better Than Black Friday Shopping

I hate Black Friday shopping. I’ve been exactly once, and I would rather have my lady bits scoured with a rusty Brillo pad than endure that shit again. For one, there are the people ....more

Postpartum Insight (on the Reals)

I am just three days shy of three weeks postpartum with my third child (apparently three is the magic number), and I made the mistake of looking at myself naked in the mirror this morning. Jesus. Fucking ....more

Parents Confess Their Deepest, Darkest Secrets

Many parents are happy to share their success stories with others — stories about how they weaned their baby off the bottle or how they manage to prepare a healthy meal each night. What they aren’t so happy to share, however, are the humorous and sometimes shocking parenting choices they make behind closed doors.These brave […] ...more

Commenting on Internet Articles (for Dummies)

I’ve been blogging for about 3 1/2 years now, and in that time, I’ve received my fair share of negative, rude comments from readers. At first, I was so taken aback and personally insulted by the rare mean comments I’d encounter that I would rack my brain, trying to figure out how to convince everyone […] ...more

Tales From the O.R.: That One Time I Had My 3rd C-Section

I had my third c-section on Tuesday, and holy shit, you guys, I survived. I’m still here, as is my perfectly beautifully awesomely wonderful baby. Most people would expect this result — the still being here thing — but I am not most people ....more