Excited for today

This blog started out as a way for me  to turn my infertility experience into something I could share with others.  It’s also a way for me to write about the journey of finding myself again. I have been seeing a psychiatrist.  I’m not embarrassed about it but I also don’t fully embrace it.  Now hear me out….the reason I haven’t fully embraced it is because doctor # 1 told me that I don’t have post partum depression.  It’s depression, yes….but he doesn’t think its post-partum and that my not having bonded with her fully is something else.  I didn’t agree...more

Shared risk programs

Many insurance companies do not cover fertility medications or the treatments.  Some people are super lucky and treatments are covered. For those who aren’t, there are financial options, but ultimately, it’s just plain expensive.  Clomid is fairly affordable, but once you get to injections and paying out of pocket, its expensive, and the chances for multiples increases. For us, we could not afford IVF for a long time, so we went with IUI’s which had less than 20% chance of success (for me personally).  IVF had an 80% chance of working.  My dad is a banker...more

Be cautious with message boards

This blog has been helping.  I’ve gotten great feedback from people going through fertility treatments now and there’s a lot of information out there.  So I thought I would dedicate a post to some helpful information regarding how to sort through all the information provided. Here are some tips based solely on my experience.  Please let me know if you have any you think I should add to it. 1)  Google isn’t infertile.  It’s very easy to become an “expert” about your own fertility and everything.  But there is s...more
Thank you so much for this post, it's like a wake up call when you can become a zombie googling ...more

Shoulda Woulda Coulda

During infertility treatments, I sought counseling to deal with the roller coaster that had become our life. It really helped and my therapist became a reference for our adoption home study. The first time she met me, I sobbed uncontrollably. I put myself out there. Can’t cry at work, crying myself to sleep was getting old fast…and there she was…all understanding and just listening. At the second appointment, she said ” you use the word ‘should’ a lot”....more

TTC, AF, IUI, IVF, 2ww, BFN and BFP…and miracles….say what?

For those of us who live with infertility, its on our mind constantly.  Any break from that is a treat.  There were days when it only crossed my mind 50 times and that was a good day.  There were days where I was so focused on a particular treatment or waiting for my bloodwork that I couldn’t possibly be productive anywhere else.  I suppose that’s slowly how I lost track of me.  The calendar that used to be marked for events, vacations, plans with friends was now used to plan budgets, mark medications, and to try to guess when you may need to head to the doctor for ...more

Finding myself after infertility

I’m a 30-something wife and mom who has polycystic ovaries.   I enjoy “me” time preferably at a beachy location with a stack of People Magazines.  Some may view this as shallow, but it clears my head.  I completely zone out.  For someone who puts a lot of pressure on them-self, this is a beautiful time.  I love being challenged at work....more