Marathon Monday

For those of you don't know me personally, I ran a marathon a few years ago.  It sucked and I wrote about it.  I journaled about the running experience in the only way I could – through a magnifying glass of grotesque humor.  The journal entries went viral, was featured on radio stations and evolved into this highly addictive blog,, which has been provoking laughter, and reportedly the unexpected urine flow, for over five years now....more

This will hurt me more than it hurts you

I'm a pushover parent.  A weakling. A sucker.  I rarely discipline the kids.  Not because they don't deserve it, although they are pretty good kids, but mostly because I don't know how to punish them....more

This Date Sucks

Sitting down at the table for dinner with my 8 year old son. Me:  Daddy and Sissy went to a soccer meeting. It's just me and you for dinner. It's like we're on a date!Cameron: Awwwkwaard....Me: Let's pretend we're on a date.  So....what do you do for a living?Cameron: Nothing.Me: Do you have any brothers or sisters?Cameron: No.Me: Where are you from?Cameron: California.Me: Hmmm. Do you want to ask me any questions?Cameron: No.Me: This date sucks.Cameron: This is awkward....more

Brad Pitt, Don't Act Like You Don't Know Me

Brad Pitt says he has developed facial blindness, where after meeting and engaging with someone, that person's face disappears from his memory as soon as they walk away. If they ever come in contact again, to him, it's like meeting an entirely new person....more

Mommy Lost It

As a parent sometimes you yell.  And sometimes you yell a little louder than you should. And sometimes, as the spouse of the yeller, it's best to stay out of it by pretending to be asleep....more

I'm Bringing Sexting Back

I read an article recently entitled "10 Texts To Make Him Eager To Come Home Tonight".....and it's just a little funnier with my follow-up commentary...1. "I'm trying on bras but I need a second opinion."  Does this 32 A make my back fat pudge out too much? 2. "Waiting for you at home: beer, chips, and best of all, me!"  If you bogart the beer and chips, I'll cut you. 3. "You, last night. #makingmeblushtoday" That fart you ripped was epic and is making me laugh in my meeting! ...more