Thanks for the gems, mom.

I'm trying so hard to repair my funny bone. It was broken in my mom's car accident from 700 miles away. But to survive this, I need to be able to flex it - at least for my family, who have come to depend on it as a part of their life. So that when one of them is caught brown-handed feeding a dirty diaper to the pugs (again), I can laugh about it and share it with all of you, not curl up on the couch and melt into a pathetic puddle of saliva, snot and tears....more

Missing My Mom: The Real Consequences of Drunk Driving

Two Wednesdays ago, she called me while I was napping. I usually don’t answer my phone when I’m napping, but this time, instead of hitting the red button, I chose the green one instead. “Hey, I’m taking a nap with Eva. Can I call you back?” She told me, “Sure, that’s fine.” I then fell into a deep sleep. I woke up two hours later, and in the rush to prepare dinner, I forgot to call her back. ...more
I am so sorry for your tragic loss, I recently lost my brother quite suddenly.These situations ...more

Love on a leash

Chances are, if you're reading this, you have a strong opinion on child leashes. In my experience, I've found most parents can be classified into one of two categories: pro-leash parents, who have found that leashing their wandering offspring in public keeps them sane, and their children safe and secure. These parents have given a collective middle finger to the rest of parental population and their looks of shame....more

keeping your sanity with two under 2

If my kids are fed and still alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.With two kids under the age of two, I found myself just the other day rocking in a corner, incoherently singing the verses of 'I'm a little teapot.' I broke two dishes within 20 minutes, the second of which landed shards of broken ceramic in the macaroni and cheese that was cooking on the stove. The macaroni and cheese that my 21-month-old was waiting for so impatiently....more

And then there were four...

I'm back - and with a brand new itty bitty souvenir! Eva Elizabeth ripped through a gaping hole in my uterus at 9:55 a.m., Monday, Feb. 11, and boy, was she was pissed....more

Human Bowling Ball: The Sequel

Someone please tell me that it gets better than this....more

What I wish someone had told me before baby

Parenting advice is everywhere. From the shelves at Barnes & Noble to the grocery store checkout line, it's in your face: don't sleep with your baby, you could squash her; don't give baby a bottle at bed time; give plenty of juice; don't give any juice; don't pick him up when he cries, you'll spoil him; vaccinate; don't vaccinate......more

Murphy's Law of Parenthood Strikes in the Grocery Store

It's Murphy's Law of Parenthood: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong when you're least prepared. We went grocery shopping last night after dinner. It's always fun to take Danny along shopping as he loves to grab whatever is within his reach and throw it in the cart, on the floor or even in someone else's cart. He thinks he's helping mommy. I was two aisles away from the baby aisle when I first smelled disaster: It was a fresh, familiar odor that I've tackled single-handedly many times over. And of course, we have a poomergency and the diaper bag is a quarter mile away in the backseat of a parked car (thank you Murphy's Law!)....more
@BusyMama82 Haha! Motherhood sure is glorious, isn't it?more

A Toddler's Top 10

Every parent with a toddler in tow keeps at least 10 activities in their repertoire to busy their tots for a few minutes while they tend to the urgent tasks of life, such as checking Facebook for the latest and greatest gossip on your old high school friends or calling a friend to share that latest and greatest dirt. As I was saying, every parent has at least 10 activities...wait - you do have a top 10, right?! If you don't, try not to be too hard on yourself. You're not the only one who lets their child play in the trashcan while surfing the interwebz....more

Poopmageddon 2012

Though we've been here for a few weeks now, I'm still adjusting to our new way of life, where mosquitoes grow to the size of rabid raccoons and pizza delivery is this cool thing that city folk do. On a few occasions, our pugs have ventured to the bordering farmer's field adjacent to the property. One evening a few days ago, I shared my concerns with my husband Dan, that the farmer next door would shoot one of the dogs wandering on his property. His response: "Jen, we're in southern New Jersey. It's 2012. No one is going to shoot the dogs."...more