There’s a song in my head and it won’t leave!

Last week something awful happened. I got a song stuck in my head and I couldn’t get it out. And this was not just any song. This was a super-annoying song. A song that nobody in their right mind would want rattling around their brain. Yes, it was the song from hell. And that song was [...] ...more

The Keeper of Lost Stuff (aka Mom)

I don’t know how this happened, but somehow I have become the Keeper of Everyone’s Stuff.  I probably should have known that someday this would be my job, mainly because I spent most of my childhood losing stuff, which I then wanted my mother to find.  Consequently, my mother’s favorite lectures included #459, “A Place [...] ...more

How to Pick a College

It’s time for that annual rite of passage – college tours. Yes, my son is now old enough to tour college campuses. This is strange to me because in my day, we didn’t tour any campuses. We just filled out an application for any college we felt would ignore our hideous math scores…oh, wait. Maybe [...] ...more

Girl Scout cookies might be evil

The story you are about to read is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.* My name is Laurie, um, I mean it’s Lori (forgot I was protecting the innocent here). Anyway, I live in the rough and tumble world of the suburbs. You know the suburbs. Places people dream about. A [...] ...more

Honey Boo-Boo, Steven Hawking and me

So there we were. Harry and I, all alone on a Sunday afternoon. And by “alone” I clearly mean “by ourselves because the teenager was playing a rousing game of Call of Duty and was in the game room with the door closed and had not communicated with us for at least an hour [...] ...more

Dear Apple, Siri needs my help

Recently, Apple put out an ad on LinkedIn for a writer to make Siri (the iPhone virtual assistant) wittier.  Um, hello? I parent a teenager. I can bite my tongue, talk like a teen (well, sort of), squeeze information out of a person who never wants to speak to me again, and I can even [...] ...more

Apparently, I’m not a domestic goddess. Or organized.

It started last summer. I began to get the tiniest inkling that perhaps I was not as organized a person as I thought I was when my sister, Bridezilla, opened up the guest bath cabinet and said, “you know you fold your towels wrong, don’t you?” Um, no? Who knew that there was a right and wrong [...] ...more

New Year’s Resolutions 2013

This year I have decided to make some New Year’s Resolutions. This was very difficult for me, because in the past I have not stuck to any of the resolutions I’ve made. I think that was because they were too hard. I mean, I had stuff on my list like “accomplish world peace” and “stop [...] ...more

Oh, you crazy Mayans

According to the Mayans, today is the first day of…wait, no. That’s not it. Today is the last day. Yes, because the Mayan calendar ends today, supposedly the earth will explode. Or twirl off its axis. Or something. Please. I have a Mickey Mouse calendar that ends in August. Do I think that means September won’t [...] ...more

Christmas decor by an engineer

There are a lot of things that make living in a small town special. But one of the most special things is the way that your neighbors celebrate the holidays. For many years, my town had a home decorating contest. I don’t know what happened to it – maybe it still exists but is such a [...] ...more