The CSE Meeting: Just because it's said doesn't make it true!

"Well...we can work on that if you'd like, but I think she'll always need someone to feed her".  Those were the words that have been echoing in my thoughts ever since they were said by a therapist at Felicity's CSE meeting last Friday.  You may think my primal reaction would have been to inflict physical harm to this person, but it wasn't.  I was too shocked to respond at all.Period...So in that moment I did not.  The fact remains that this is a possibility...However, it is also possible that one day she WILL independently feed herself.  At 6 years old I think it is...more

She Always Gets What She Wants

"She always gets what she wants!" Ryan yells as I am letting Felicity pick yet another TV show.   *Sigh*...I know that's what it feels like to him.   In some respects he isn't wrong and he will never know how much guilt I carry for not being able to give him more....more

The Wheelchair

Last night I had a conversation with a friend about grieving which got me thinking about my own grief in relation to my pregnancy, childbirth and everything that followed. Although I am grateful for our miracle twins, I also felt a deep sadness from having a very complicated pregnancy only to be followed with our micro preemie babies spending three long months in the nicu. The funny thing ( or maybe not so funny) is that it took me a long time to feel anything other than fear. Mostly I was just very tired and numb....more


We went on a family outing to our local Chuck E. Cheese's over the weekend as a promise to our children, one of which reminded us of this every chance he got for an entire week. Truth be told, going there on a Saturday night was not something I was looking forward to....more

Using the "R" Word Does Not Make You Witty! ~An Open Letter to the Unenlightened

Here it goes...If you are someone who uses the word "retard" and you think it's funny...It's not! If you are someone who uses it to insult another person...shame on you! If you think combining words like "fuck" and "tard" are clever...It is not! And if you believe using made up words like "sped" are cute...let me be the first to tell you that you're dead wrong! As a special education para-professional these words have always made me cringe. Anyone who knows me really well can tell you...Just ask my husband!...more

With All Due Respect My Fellow Americans

I am an American. I am also a Liberal, a Democrat, a Progressive...You get the point. I do not claim to be a political scholar of any kind...However, I know what my own values are and I don't foresee changing anytime soon...Nor am I writing this to convince my Republican buddies to to share in my convictions...Why yes!!!...I do have friends and family who are Republican! *Collective GASP!* I have a number of friends who I consider intelligent, knowledgable people, who seem to have done their homework and will most certainly vote differently than myself. That's ok...I can respect that. ...more

Kindergarten and The Post Preschool Blues

I have to admit it...I was unprepared for the range of emotion I've been feeling lately. Our twins, Ryan and Felicity, will be starting kindergarten in a few weeks and I am certain I am having a more difficult time than either of them. I've spent months talking to each of them about going to a new school in hope to prepare them for the upcoming changes... So how is it I that I am feeling completely caught off guard? After all, it isn't as if I haven't known this was coming! While there is a part of me that is looking forward this transition, I can't help feeling sad too....more

Success is Failure Turned Inside Out

Here's the thing, I'm not a big fan of the word " failure". I realize that it is a natural part of life, from the first F we receive on a test to perhaps failing the people who love us the most. We have all experienced the feelings accompanying failure on some level and I think it's safe to say that most of us prefer the feelings associated with success. I know I do... ...more

TWIN A ...The Little King

December 31, 2006 I gave birth to our twins Ryan and Felicity.They were born 3 months premature due of a flurry of pregnancy complications. Ryan, twin A, was the first born at 10:57pm. He weighed a mere 2lbs2ozs which was still 4ozs more than his twin sister! Even though he was very tiny and sick, he was still perceived to be stronger than his sister right from the start. In some ways this was true, he was larger and seemed to have less complications overall. Still, the fact remains that he was a long way from being healthy....more
 @CindiCapeceValenti Thank you Cindi :)more

Remembering July 2, 1995 ~WARNING!!! Suicide mentioned~

Rewind back to July 2, 1995...I was a very troubled 22 year old girl on the brink of absolute destruction. I was abusing drugs and even worse, I didn't think there was anything wrong with it. My life was a complete mess and everyone could see it except for me. I was still reeling from a tumultuous 2 year relationship that ended with me in the emergency room and my ex boyfriend in jail. I really believed that if everyone, especially my mother, would get off my back and accept my lifestyle that things would be okay. However, my mother was unrelenting....more
 @LisaPulitzer Thank you Lisa!  more