How To Talk To A Writer

When asked what I do for a living I answer, "I'm a writer." This statement is usually met with a blank stare followed up by some questionable follow-up questions.  It seems a lot of people have a hard time understanding what a writer does for work. So in case you're one of those confused folks, I thought I'd let you know what this writer does for work. I write. Like now. I'm writing. I'm working. See?It's pretty simple....more

Life Lessons: Bruce Springsteen Can't Play Basketball and Kobe Bryant Can't Carry a Tune

I've been practicing basketball with my son. This is the equivalent of saying that Paris Hilton is your math tutor. The chances of advancement are slim to none. I'm not afraid to say out loud, the kid is the worst one on his team. It's six-year-olds playing in a no-score game. Being the worst one is saying a lot. They're all terrible, but he's worse. He's very good at running back and forth on the court. Other than that, it's just not his game....more

How Do You Spell Pagina?

There’s a question that every parent asks his or herself. When is the right time to stop being naked in front of their kids?  Experts will tell you that your child will intuitively know when life should become more private. These are the same experts who tell you kids will know when they’re ready to stop wearing diapers or when they’re ready to start sleeping in a bed. Once you’ve had a kid, you know this is complete and total bullshit....more

Sexy Back

"The gentlemen would like to buy your drinks" the Bartender tells my friend and I. He nods to the right, where the three handsome young guys from Dubai are sitting. My friend and I hadn't said more than two words to the guys before, but they've politely asked the Bartender to charge them for our drinks.  "Thank you," we say fully expecting the drink to now obligate us to a lengthy conversation about whatever it is 25 year-olds talk about these days: Jay-Z?  The "lifestyle brand" they're trying to get funding for? Why college is useless? Android vs. iPhone?...more

Refrigerator Instructions For My Husband.

Readers who meet my husband are relieved (and a bit disappointed) to see that he's not a moron. "He's not a total moron,"  they'll say. This, right before going into their own long and detailed explanation of how their husband, like mine, has a Phd in Genius, but can't remember to pick up his children from school. Or, the fact that he actually has children. Or, that they go to school....more

Dating Advice For My 2-Year-Old Daughter

My daughter likes older boys.  I know this because at the ripe old age of two, she's already "flirting" with her 5-year-old brother's friends. She has a particular liking for her brother's friend Nathan or his younger brother Hal, I can't quite tell....more
@JeyJow it's unavoidable. get out there!more