The 'That Won't Be Us" Illusion

 My older brother called the other day to invite us to a little get-together for his son’s birthday. When he gave me the date, I checked my calendar then started laughing like a teen snorting cough meds.“Bro, I’m triple booked then,’ I rattled in that same annoying laundry-list voice all the other grade school parents I know can't help using to quantify how unequivocally busy we are....more

My First Lockdown. Holy $H–!

So there I was at my son's parent-teacher conference this Wednesday, two minutes into hearing how superawesomeamazeball the Duke is doing. I was feeling good and gooey with pride since, clearly, I'm the tree the apple didn't fall far from. And that's when the announcement came over the loudspeaker– "ATTENTION, PLEASE:  A LOCKDOWN OF THE SCHOOL HAS BEEN ORDERED. STUDENTS AND STAFF RETURN TO THE NEAREST CLASSROOM OR OFFICE. TEACHERS, LOCK YOUR DOORS AND KEEP STUDENTS INSIDE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.” ...more

Ban Bossy? Or Help My Daughter Be the Boss?

I am a sucker for anything pro-women, much to my man's inner eye rolling. So when I heard about the new campaign to Ban Bossy being launched by female heavy hitters Sheryl Sandberg, Girl Scouts CEO Anna Maria Chávez and former secretary of state Condi Rice, I was all like, "Woo Hoo, you go girls! Where do I sign my fem-lovin' self up?" ...more

World's Best Worst Mom

Those who know me from afar may have formed the impression that I've got my act together. I shower at least once a week, occasionally show up in an outfit that matches and doesn't include yoga pants, and my reasonably well-behaved kids turn homework in mostly on time, robotically saying please and thank you. I am, after all, a Virgo, the zodiac sign best known for the annoying trait of being perfectionists to a fault....more