Top Five Reasons Why I'm Going to BlogHer in NYC

When you hear the word "BlogHer", one of three responses will burst forth from your countenance:1. Apathy, ignorance, or a general sense of not giving a rat's ass, stemming from the possibility that you've never heard of it (FYI: it's a big blogging conference for women).2. Excitement, followed by shouting "me too me too!" and jumping up and down, turning the heads of everyone within earshot3. Anger and utter despair...more

That sounds fun! Wonder if there is anything up here in Seattle?more

New Video Game for Women: Coconut Queen (from iWin Games)

I worked on this video game that was just released August 20 by iWin Games.   ...more

My Interview with TV Writer (and now Young Adult author) Russ Woody

[Warning: this post is rated PG-13 for language, but not because of me. I just got my 1 year chip and I'm not about to fall off the wagon. No, the foul language is spoken by somebody else. I am merely quoting them.] So, there I was, at some nameless coffee shop in Studio City, stalking celebrities sipping my big-gulp-sized no-foam octo-shot two-percent extra-hot white mocha latte when who should walk in but Hollywood TV sitcom writer extraordinaire: Russ Woody. ...more

Oh Yeah? How Long Has It Been Since YOU Took a Bath?

I haven't taken a bath since the sixth grade which, I realize, sounds gross and all but you're my peeps and I figure I can tell you just about anything (except for that thing last year with the cop and the algae and the 437 rolls of bubble wrap - I'm not ready to talk about that yet.) Anyway, some Frenchy frog blogger named Sheila (Ma Vie Folie) who makes natural bath products out of her garage or something sent me a boatload of products with a note attached that said: "P.U. You stink!" ...more

Keys: The Lost Episodes

Sometimes I feel like I've blown my literary wad, given this blog my all. I've got nothing left. And then I lock myself out of my condo. I never walk out of the house without having the solid feel of the keys in my hand. And last Thursday, I stared at the outside of my front door, feeling my keys very solidly in my hand. The wrong keys. My Sacramento keys. The keys that went to my Sacramento front door. And my Sacramento car. The keys that were useless to me as I stood outside my Los Angeles front door. ...more

Love Thyself. Just Not in Front of Me

I'd say it's been at least twenty years since I caught someone ruining his eyesight (aka masturbating). I can only assume that the internet has something to do it. At least for that exhibitionist guy one night in 1988 who turned the flashlight on himself in his car as he drove next to me on the I-80 freeway. I mean, why risk your life on the road, when you can visit Rosy Palms and her five sisters on a webcam for all the world to see? It's hands-free, but it's not. How Zen. ...more

My Career in Musical Theatre

When I tell you I was in The Music Man, your first thought would probably be: "Oh, were you Marian the Librarian?" No, I was not Marian the Librarian! Just because I wear glasses and read a lot and look like someone who should know the Dewey Decimal system and my mother's name was Marian does not a Marian the Librarian make me. You think you're so smart. ...more

I'm a former musical theatre performer and loved this story.

Elisa Camahort Page
BlogHer ...more

Taking the "Class" Out of First Class

What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when he hits a windshield? His ass. ...more

What NOT To Do On Maui

Five days into our Maui vacation and we were bored out of our minds. Bored, bored, bored. I mean you can only see so many whales, sunsets, waterfalls, and volcanos (YAWN! Am I right?). So we decided to go off the beaten path. There’s this place we found called Aloha Joe’s Fly-By-Night Maui Vacation and Island Adventure Tours, Inc. And based on several packages we embarked on, I can now safely tell you what NOT to do on a Maui vacation. Harpoon Lessons ...more
Thanks Maui Shop Girl! I hope to be forced to grace your island shores again very soon!more

Laid-Off Lady Liberty Considers New Line of Work

I have this friend who works in the New York Harbor. Well, she used to work in the New York Harbor. But last week, like so many of us in the last year, she got a pink slip from the boss. And when the Statue of Liberty loses her job, this country MUST be having money problems. They’ll bail out the banks and the auto companies, but do you think they could find it in their patriotic hearts to throw a few bones to Penelope? After all she’s done for this country? Not to mention that she never once called in sick. You’d think that would stand for something! ...more