Last Weeks of Two

Lately whenever I come into a room where Ivy has been playing on her own for a while, I find a perfect little row of something: robot blocks arranged neatly, side-by-side, according to color. Tiny plastic pigs standing in an expectant row. A stuffed-animal kick-line ....more

Trimming Beans

I adore fresh green beans, but for the longest time, I rarely bought them. Because trimming green beans is one of my least favorite kitchen activities. It's not especially difficult or messy, but...more

Getting Someone (Else) Off My Chest

It is August, 2009. I write, "I can't imagine nursing a two-year-old. I think I would go crazy."...more

Two Good Days

Finally, finally something clicked and I've had two consecutive days now where I didn't feel like blowing my brains out. Things haven't been easier, not really. But I've felt more calm and even ....more

Seven (& Eleven Days)

Westley turned seven on the first of this month. I wasn't really sure what to say about that. I thought I might copy off my own paper, so I glanced back at the things I wrote about his sixth birthday ....more

Halloween '14

We got really into Halloween this year. We put up decorations, we carved pumpkins (twice!), and the kids had their costumes picked out well in advance. At first, Westley wanted to be a ninja, and I did a little happy dance, because that's among the easiest costumes ever: black hoodie he already owns plus black Toms he already owns plus thrift-store black sweatpants and done!...more

Fall Down

The difficult thing about healing my psychosomatic pain wasn't getting around the "it's all in your head" notion. It wasn't side-stepping the idea that because there isn't something physiologically wrong, my pain wasn't "serious." I've been in my head before, and it's dark and terrifying sometimes. All in my...more

How I Got My Back Back

On Sunday I helped lift a giant refrigerator up and down stairs. Today I carried a squirmy toddler all over the zoo in my arms for three and a half hours. My back feels fine ....more


At 4:18 this afternoon, Ivy turned two. It seems just right for her. Perhaps I think that because I've been telling people she's two for a couple weeks already—because I like the way it sounds ....more

Out of the Blue

I was just thinking about him. Ivy's birthday is coming up, and I was remembering that when I was in early-early labor, we watched Aladdin while waiting for Rob's mom to come pick up Westley. I had just been wondering how the guy who was my first favorite actor was doing.And then I read that he was gone ....more