Learning to float

Progress in parenting is a slow leak, not a flash flood. It seeps in, until it soaks the ceiling, then runs down inside the walls and eventually stretches out across the floor, buckling the floorboards. It doesn’t sweep through the front door, smashing windows, floating the coffee table up the stairwell in a swirling clutter of magazines, candles and remote controls ....more

Hands free parenting

When you absolutely, positively have to get to the hospital…(Not our car. We walked past this one on the way to the doctor’s office.) Mama was in the office, so I was on daddy duty yesterday, shepherding the kids to doctor’s appointments and caring for Jewel, who survived the tornado of a 48-hour virus only to come down with a cold. 3B has it too, but Jewel seems to have gotten the worst of it, though she’s been cheerful through it and even taught herself to use the belly of her shirt to wipe her nose when there are no tissues ....more

Escaping ennui

I made it through Back to School night without being sent to the principal’s office. Not that I was ever sent when I was in school…like Johnny Cash, I walked the line, but managed to never trip over it. Other than my daydreaming, my teachers’ only complaint was that I talked in class ....more

Nice smock, Papa

As soon as we flew back from Grammy’s, we jumped into the school year, with both kids having new teachers and classes. Jewel said she hated it, didn’t want to go, didn’t like her teachers and didn’t know the names of any other kids in class. All of that would be sad and worrying if her school didn’t, like every preschool these days, share a weekly review of pictures, which lets us see that she’s happy there ....more

Over several states and through the woods

On our front lawn, there was a four-point whitetail buck this morning when I went out to turn the sprinkler on. That reminded me that for the whole time we were at Grammy’s, after computer camp, we didn’t see a single deer, moose, bear, snake or other critter. The first week that computer camp was on, Mama and Jewel got 3B there and home, but on that Friday, they jetted out to Mama’s high school reunion, which was so large that it was held at the gazebo in the local park ....more

Final countdown to next summer

The highlight of 3B’s summer was computer camp. OK, maybe the second highlight, after our visit to Grammy’s. OK, maybe his third after his Harry Potter birthday party ....more

How Coke + Snickers became kale juice + Clif bars

I suppose that by now it’s been almost a month since I wrote here, since before my PMC ride, 3B’s technology summer camp and our family trip to Grammy’s. School has also started for 3B–yesterday was the 1st day of 2nd grade for 3B–and Jewel, who returned to her preschool just in time to learn about Rosh Hashanah before we head to our friends’ house for a dinner of apples and honey…and all that other stuff. A good time, then, to reflect on recent events and write a little more in this book of my life that this blog is ....more

Thanks to my team…that’s you

This is the week of sleepless nights, spent packing, asking “What if…?” and checking over my bike one last time. Or 27 last times. Then, on Thursday, I’ll drive north with a fellow Phat Tuesday teammate to arrive in Sturbridge, Massachusetts in time for registration and opening ceremonies on Friday night ....more

Used correctly, a whoopee cushion can asphyxiate you

…and by “used correctly,” I mean “used to make the sound of splattering flatulence that shocks an unsuspecting victim.” To back up a few steps, Mama took the kids to the dollar store yesterday to get supplies for 3B’s birthday party on Sunday (spoiler alert to all his friends who read this blog–we shop at the dollar store for party items). She let 3B and Jewel each buy one item while they were there, which they were excited about…at the time. However, by the time they picked me up at the Metro station moments later, both were suffering dreadful cases of buyer’s remorse, to the point that neither wanted to talk about their purchases ....more

Standing tall, wincing just a bit

Kids and parents are a bad match. Kids are quick and parents have aching knees and backs. Kids leave toys and trash all over the house and parents involuntarily groan anytime they bend over ....more