Boy and Girl, Uninterrupted

Last week I loaded my phone with podcasts, peed as much as I could at home, and jumped into the car, backing out of the driveway while The Kid waved through his window and I waved back through mine. I headed west on I-20 and a few hours later had arrived, in a homecoming of sorts, on my counselor’s couch. The last time I was here, TK was five months old and I was ravaged by his first few months: exhausted, intensely ambivalent, recovering from being split open in every possible way ....more

Will Write for Attention

Our family of four was shopping the other day (and by shopping, I mean my husband was pushing a cart stuffed with two whining kids while I looked for an escape hatch) when we dead-ended into one of those homespun signs that make me cringe a little. I read the words, looked at my husband, and rolled my eyes forcefully enough that I’m still waiting to hear back from the ophthalmologist. “GOD,” I hissed in a combination of prayer, exasperation, and self-righteousness ....more

You Are Welcome

Until recently I barely even knew the signs of welcome, like the way a person plopped down across from me and sighed deeply while looking at me with relief: a shy look on someone’s face that gave me time to breathe and settle in. I didn’t know that wounds and scars were what we find welcoming, because they are like ours. –Anne Lamott It’s the beginning and end of the day when my patience wears thinnest, when exhaustion hasn’t lifted or has just descended and every deviation from routine feels like a warning bell ringing in my skull, a scream against sanity ....more

Broken Together

Where there is ruin, there is hope for a treasure. –Rumi Last week the nurse pushed the mobile bed from our waiting/recovery room to the CT room. (Isn’t it funny how waiting and healing can happen in the same place?) The Kid and I rode together, he plastered all over my torso, where he had been for the last hour or so ....more


Every night, the same thing happens. I double-wrap Little Brother in diapers, yank him into his zippered footie pajamas, and zip him into his sleep sack. I walk him the three long steps from the changing table to his rocker ....more

Will Write for Attention

Louis CK does a bit about marriage (it’s an old bit; he’s since gotten divorced, which makes the content both sad and prescient) in which he recounts his therapist’s recommendation that he take his wife on a date. “I went on a date with my wife, and you know what? I’m not going to call her again.” My husband reminded me of this joke recently upon returning from our “vacation.” I use quotes because, as anyone with kids knows (and some have written), any temporary relocation of the family unit would be more aptly described as a trip ....more

The Storm and the Cloud

Where there is no risk, the emotional terrain is flat and unyielding, and, despite all its dimensions, valleys, pinnacles, and detours, life will seem to have none of its magnificent geography, only a length. It began in mystery, and it will end in mystery, but what a savage and beautiful country lies in between. –Diane Ackerman He was screaming in the chair, but this wasn’t my first time at the rodeo ....more

By Any Other Name

We only have about a million nicknames for our kids. My family has always done that: growing up, hearing my full first name was a sign of being in trouble. In high school and college, The Sis and I garnered nicknames that have stuck to this day (so have all her friends, none of whom I address by their proper names ....more

The Road

We returned from “vacation” earlier this week. And I use the term “vacation” loosely as it was clearly a trip. ...more

Vista Points

And there I will give her her vineyards ...more