Let me start by warning you that I am in a mood today.  Therefore, this post will most likely not be funny at all.  If you just said to yourself, “But her posts are never funny”, then I suggest you go back to eating your lima beans and looking at your Land’s End catalog because YOU SIR/MADAM obviously have no sense of humor. ...more

The journey from 2 to 3

I love my kids.  I adore everything that they do.  Well, MOST of the things they do.  I don’t so much adore when they flush ninjas down the toilet… or when they pee all over the bathroom (not just the TOILET, the BATHROOM- I’m not a guy, but is it THAT hard to aim!?)… but MOSTLY I adore every move they make.  My “babies” are no longer babies.  My youngest is a full-fledged sassy 2 ½ year old and he will come at you you like a ferocious Velociraptor if you say differently.Me: How is my baby boy this morning?...more

Monkey Joe's is the Devil

I can’t believe it, my son turned 5 on Saturday. Because we had been celebrating his birthday all month long, we decided that there would be no party on the actual date.  What I’d like to know is, when did birthdays turn into Mardi Gras?  When I was a kid, you got 1 DAY of celebration.  You know, your ACTUAL birthday. ...more

Gangsta Clean

In my house, there are 3 levels of clean. Level 1: Half-assed clean.  This is the level of clean that is achieved on a daily basis.  It’s not that I don’t love having a spotless house, because I do.  But during the weekdays between the hours of 9-5, I’m OBLIGATED to be on the couch at my office desk blogging shopping online working and just don’t have time to clean....more


Love the photos. Love the gangsta clean.


BlogHer ...more

I (HEART) Segues

My 4 year old son woke up yesterday morning and told me that he was too sick to go to school.  I knew he was faking but was a little hesitant to call his bluff since the LAST time I told him to suck it up I ended up with vomit all over me.  I’m also pretty sure my kid is going to become a politician when he’s older.  When he sensed my hesitancy for letting him stay home, this conversation occurred: DMo:  Mom, I’m sick. Me:  You don’t look very sick; let me check your forehead....more

Scurvy-Infested Cobras, Linda Blair, and Children's Books

I can’t help it- I REALLY don’t like reading children’s books.  I know, I am the worst parent ever… we already established that HERE.  I think a few things factor into this.    1. I’ve already read almost all of these stories 1.5 billion times and I’m not even allowed to change the frigging ending anymore because my kids call me out on it.   ...more