I turned down my mirrors.

A usually pleasant journey home from my son’s house was turning nasty –and not just the weather.Foggy darkness coupled with slanting rain on a curvy road made the speed limit categorically unsafe. Rather than fast and faster, I drove slow and slower as visibility lessened dramatically. And it made a guy in a pickup behind me angry....more

What If . . .

It’s a yearly event –usually on Father’s Day. My son rents a pontoon boat on Lake Sonoma and up to twelve family members pile on for four hours of recreation. Usually we head right and go under the bridge, but this year we decided to avoid the jet skiers and so turned left....more

Howard Stern

Howard Stern wants to interview me. He just finished reading my book Darkness Overturned and wants to know who I am NOW.Finally, I think. Someone gets it that being a survivor of child abuse and, later, domestic violence isn’t an identity. It’s a beginning....more

Birdsong

Early morning and at dusk I am especially charmed by birdsong. Sometimes on the way home from work, slowed by traffic on the two-lane road leading into town, I hear a riotous bird choir in a tree or their lilting calls over a vineyard. It always has the same affect on me –I am momentarily engulfed by gratitude.Impulsively, I say “thank you” out loud to God, to the Universe, to the More that exists beyond earthquakes, tornadoes, global warming or any of the tragedies that plague humanity that are caused by (or helped along by) humanity....more

Lobbing the Scone

For thirteen years I have had occasion to take the short walk to our neighbor’s adjoining condo –a simple few steps from our door to his.On the weekends my husband usually makes a trip to the local bakery then shares some of the goodies with our neighbor now into his 80’s and alone since his wife passed a few years ago. A couple weeks ago this pleasant task fell to me.Or should I say, I fell to the task ...more
Broken elbow? OUCH! I hope those are really good scones... more

Family

For the most part I am realistic about my connections to people. I don’t call acquaintances friends and I don’t mistake friends for family, however close we might be or how precious I count them.For many years I was bereft of family. My mother shrank from relationships, shriveling emotionally until she reduced herself to a voluntary shut-in, even pinning cloth to the bottom of her curtains as if to ensure privacy. My heart ached for her and for the years of loss of family she engineered –not just for herself but for me....more

Why I Do Not Cling To Truth

When I wrote my book Darkness Overturned (originally titled Light Through the Dark Glass) I was deeply religious, clinging to the reality of God as my Father –and to the church. I believed in the “straight and narrow way” and sought approval not just from the Almighty, but from church leaders and my brothers and sisters in the family of God....more

Golden Passages

On the day after Thanksgiving my husband went wine tasting. I went for a walk, needing to exercise after my blissful enjoyment of an abundance of sumptuous food. Happy inside and out, I wanted to experience the delightfully crisp air and gawk at bedazzling fall colors before the trees succumbed to winter’s ongoing blitz of cold and colder....more

Peanut Butter and Jelly

Happy Birthday, Austin!You have the sometimes bemoaned distinction of being a middle child. Sandwiched in between a spirited big sister and a rambunctious younger brotherWhat role do you take in the family?It has often been said that middle children have to try a little harder to be heard, which can sometimes make them feel insecure.Do you feel that way sometimes?  ...more

13 Rainbows

My husband was diagnosed with fast-growth prostate cancer when in his early 50’s. The doctor took me aside and told me he probably would be dead in five years if he didn’t do something –fast!Far too young for such a prognosis, especially since we had been married barely two years, it was a horrible jolt to even begin to contemplate such an outcome. It was like being told, “Go catch a fish before nightfall,” without being given a fishing pole or even told where the lake was, let alone where to find proper bait or the best spot to succeed....more