When My Husband Came Out as a Woman

My husband came out to me as a woman this summer, three days after our five-year wedding anniversary. We were supposed to have our first date with a babysitter that night, but she bailed on us. Instead, we went out as a family for an afternoon drink at the local pub, fresh from the pool where I spent pretty much every day this summer with our four-year-old daughter. It was a damn good wedding anniversary. I think we were both feeling that our marriage had arrived at its strongest ever....more

Walk Like A Slut

I took my then three-year-old daughter to SlutWalk last year because I want her to grow up knowing nobody has the right to tell her avoiding rape is her responsibility. Or that she needs to police her look and behavior but a boy does not....more

What Parenting and Yoga Has Taught Me about Courage

Lilly turned four last Friday: goggles was on the top of her wishlist. She tried them on in the bathtub last weekend as the rain poured down outside, and then when we went to the pool on Monday, she excitedly started jumping up and down, prepping to duck her head down beneath water. And then she did it! Just like that. She enthusiastically kept jumping and ducking up and down, over and over again....more

Four Years and Healing

My child turns four today. How did it happen? Where did those sucking-at-the-breast all the time days go? Now replaced by the talking-all-the-time days. They were, are, both wonderful and draining at the same time, sucking it all out of me while filling me up again all the more too. Plus with some....more

Talking Sex with My Three-Year-Old: From Baby-Making to Self-Pleasuring and More

I've been talking sex quite a bit this past year with our three-year-old. Most recently, at almost four, the conversation has focused a lot on conception and birth, primarily because she'd love for us to make another baby, and also because she's been wanting to look at pictures from when she was very little, including in my womb. We look at pictures of my big pregnant belly and those documenting her birth. She gets that it hurts to push a baby out of a tiny vagina....more

Stranger-Danger Message Puts Kids at Risk

The arrest of a man who's confessed to killing 6-year old Etan Patz in 1979 has gotten people abuzz about the dangers of strangers. "Stranger-danger, remember?!" I overheard a mom warn her daughter at the playground on the beach this past weekend. But children are rarely abducted by strangers....more

Balance: It Takes Work

I believe a lot of us think of balance as letting go. To go with the flow more. And not work so hard. Stop striving towards the impossible goal of fitting it all in. Let go of perfectionism. (I too have been thinking in these terms). However, last week, I came to another conclusion. — Achieving and maintaining a sense of balance takes work. Real, hard work. ...more

The Psychological Underpinnings of Submission & Domination

Has spanking gone mainstream? asks Katie Roiphe in a Newsweek cover story in response to all the hype around the Twilight fanfiction slash "mommy porn" bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey. Roiphe notes the coincidence of this trend of women eagerly consuming fantasies of submission at a time when women are "in hard economic terms" less subjugated or dependent by men than before....more

What Feminist Porn Can Do for You

Psychotherapist Stanley Siegel claims that your favorite porn says a lot about who you are. I'm sure that's true, but the way he presents his case about those who watch porn makes me as a feminist woman who watches porn feel like his claims and statements about porn watching people has nothing to do with me....more

Quickies and Vibrators Make for Happy Parents

Of 10,000 new parents surveyed by Babytalk, 66 percent report they were happy with their pre-baby sex life; only 24 percent are happy with their post-baby sex life. In response, sex educator Ian Kerner at Good in Bed advocates "the art of the quickie:"...more