Bad Manicures, Silver linings and gratitude

Last Monday I got my nails done. Among my many neurosis and self defeating behaviors, biting my nails is at the top of the long list. So, in order to keep that demon at bay, I get manis. Feeling extra smug at the length of my lovely talons, I asked the lady to cut them. Apparently that was the beginning of my demise....more

Staring down the barrel of the teenage years

My 11 year old son told me the other day, very matter of factly, that he was not going to college. I asked him what his plans were and he said he was going to follow his passion, which was rock collecting. I told him that most people do that kind of thing as a hobby, and it might be hard to make a living doing that. He asked me if I would force him to go to college....more

As the magical summer comes to an end.....

Close your eyes, take a deep breath and enjoy the warmth of the sun pouring over your winter weary body. This summer will be magical. You can feel it in your freshly pedicured toes and your new bathing suit ...more

Got it Bad, Got it Bad, Got it Bad....

Oooh teacher barbie, you so naughty...more

The Things We do for Love

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What I should be doing right now

Right now, this Monday night at 9:58 pm, I should be cleaning out my freezer. My window of opportune times to throw out unidentifiable and no longer wanted food is very small for 2 main reasons....more

Life Lessons: How to Suck at a Job Interview

 When someone asks what you can bring to the job, be as vague as possible. Leave out as many details of all the things you have accomplished over the last 20 years. Disregard the work experience that has prepared you for the job. Do not even consider the life experience that you bring to the table. Stuttering and stammering is a great accompaniment to this.Trembling hands are a nice touch. As is dry mouth....more

The Word of the Day

My 11 year old son has the vocabulary of a 38 year old man. That lives in his mom's basement. Sometimes the words that come out of his mouth make me take pause. For someone who spent the first 4 years of his life essentially wordless (although not silent, by any means), he must have been taking in all the five dollar words he heard people using. Sometimes he uses them in the correct context. Other times, not so much. ...more

It's not easy being green

I have a love hate relationship with green juice. Mostly hate. I want to like it, it's packed with goodness and full of life and bursting with nutrients and vibrancy and all that stuff. But it tastes like ass.I think it's mostly my rigid thinking getting in the way of my taste buds here. I like fruit . I even like fruit juice. I love veggies.. I like V-8. But somehow, mingling the two causes me some form of tastebud anxiety. My brain can't process a fruit and a vegetable mixed together like that....more

Lift up that rock so I can crawl under it.

I had a job interview today. After 11 years basically at home, with the exception of a bullshit part time job here and there, I had an interview for a real job. I submitted my resume on the online teacher database for my state, and low and behold, right out of the gate, I landed myself an interview. I did not need any favors called in, any friend of a friend to put in a good word, or hand in my resume. I got it all on my own. ...more