Just Say No!: The First Crucial Step For Self-Care

It took me years to unlearn the habit of saying yes automatically when someone asked me for (or to do) something.  So often had that single syllable fallen from my tongue that I would often agree to things before people even asked.  In time I realized that I had spoiled the people around me to the point that they assumed I owed them a response of agreement, no matter how inconvenient and unreasonable it was.  Many times, if I was unable to concede, they would be agitated and annoyed—and I would feel guilty.  To this day I find that when ...more

This is the year of NO for me, too. Great post!

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Keeping It Real: My Obsession With Reality TV

Reality television took me by surprise. I had no way of knowing that it would have such a hold on me. All it took was one innocent episode or one night of insomnia, and I was hooked. The lure of supposed “reality” appeals to my academic curiosity, my ethnographic voyeurism, and my small town nosiness all at the same time. And while I know that reality television shows are scripted, edited, and manipulated—it is still the promised reality that gets me. I feel invested in characters. I feel like I know them (and their business). And I always, always want to know more! ...more

Returning To Myself: A Critique of Tyler Perry's "For Colored Girls"

I finally saw For Colored Girls yesterday with ambivalence.  I had promised myself that I would not go, that I would not give Tyler Perry another 8 of my dollars, that I would not subject myself to false images of myself, and that I would hold on to the For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf that I knew and fell in love with by...more

The Space Between Child-Free and Parenting

I am not sure that anyone expected me to still be child-less in my twenties, but I approached that decade as I had my earlier years, masking heartache and loneliness with focus and determination, seeing a potential pregnancy as an unnecessary complication, and pouring my maternal longings on other people’s children. I always imagined I would have plenty of time to have a family. ...more

As we grow up, we are pressured by society to follow the traditional timeline: you meet your ...more