Today I am mostly making rude gestures at the world ...

  I am pissed off.  And I get it.  For once I understand why.  I've just sat in a hot bath and gone through my feelings. My husband and I were invited last minute for drinks next door.  My first thoughts being that I don't want anyone to see me and my hair is a mess.  I am definitely in a hiding away mode at the moment and my self confidence is very low.  So I send my husband over to keep next door's hubby company as I know she's having the girls round (who are also my friends and are all super skinny).  I am sitting in the sod...more

Holy Macaroni!

So tonight my husband left for an overseas trip which is to last a week.  And I made a sweet macaroni milk pudding in the oven which served 4.  It took an hour to cook and I knew it wouldn’t be ready before the girls went to bed.  I told them that if it worked out ok they could have some tomorrow but if it didn’t work out so well I’d have to throw it in the bin. I knew even as I told them this that there was no chance of them having any, nor would I throw it in the bin. Yes.  I sat and ate the whole thing in four portions, going backwards and forwards to ...more

Beyond Comprehension

Lately I’ve been reading a book called Beyond Chocolate.  It’s simply a set of principles that, when used together, may help somebody like me break free from the diet/binge cycle.  If you are interested in this idea, visit and see whether you think it might be for you.   There are thought provoking exercises in the book and over the past few days I’ve been having a think through them.  I began wondering what kind of things I’ve been putting off ‘until I’m slim’.  It turns out there are quite a few, and amongst them are: ...more

A Mother's Love

  As the week progresses and I feel more in control of my body and my mind, I find myself wondering whether it's 'safe to come out now' to have a little delve around and see where my angst came from.  I weighed up the options and decided why the hell not! ...more

No Diet Monday? What the ....

This week has begun the same as any other, with a realisation that the weekend has passed in a blur of to-ing and fro-ing once again.  And indeed, this Monday morning was just the same as every other.  Wake up early to be greeted by the children and their mad bed-hair, roll over and smell the warmth of my boyfriend's skin (and other smells he loving emits), then spend the next fifteen minutes deciding which diet I am going to start today. ...more

Well done Wiki!

Thanks to Wiki, I read today that:"Essentially a person's body image is how they perceive their appearance to be to others, which in many cases may be dramatically different from how they actually appear to them".  ...more

So .... this is nice!

  Firstly I'm wondering if anybody will ever actually read this ... and then that's forcing me to think two things ... 1.  Nobody will read it so say what you like, be honest, pour everything out!!2.  People are most definitely going to read this, and you're going to end up looking like a complete plum. ...more

 I hope you find the answers you need and keep making baby steps toward your goal.

 My ...more