The devil you know

I was about half a block from home yesterday when I walked past a gray car with all the doors and the hatch open, a sermon blasting from the speakers. Oh, look, I thought, someone's trying to save my soul again....more

I wouldn't date that name

In praise of cave walls

Don't bogart that lube

What else can I say? You saw it for yourself. A stoned vagina can orgasm without even a touch -- and I mean a big, wet, crashing oceanic orgasm. Look, Ma! No hands!...more

Somebody hand me those forceps please.

Vaginas are trending, and not just here on Reticulated Writer. Seven people sent me articles about this guy who got stuck in a marble vagina in Germany. And I thank you all for thinking about me. I love it when you send me porn articles about vaginas when you see vaginas in the news. And I get the hint: no more serious shit. Write about vaginas now....more

How much is that doggie in the window?

I lived with a dog most of m...more

Getting naked for a cause

 ...more

And why not the clitoris?

And why not the clitoris? A loyal reader steered me toward Sophia Wallace's "cliteracy" art, and I thought, what if, instead of a tiny pocket penis, women carried a tiny clitoris around -- not a real one, you understand, because we already do carry a real one around....more

Sorry, I Won't Be Bringing My Dick to the Table

Guess what "BRDTTT" stands for? You won't get it, so I'll tell you. Bring Your Dick to the Table. Apparently the artist—and I use that term loosely—believes women can keep these expensive little pet cocks in their pockets to grab on to when they lose confidence in, for example, themselves in a business situation with men. A whole inch and a half of penile self-confidence right in the palm of our small, feminine hands....more
TerriLynnMerritts Nope, that is not what men do with pocket pussies.more

The weight of being alone

A few months ago my future daughter-in-law Montana brought her best friend Arden over to see my new house before I moved in. After we'd walked through the empty rooms she asked me, "Who's going to live here with you?"...more