Let's Talk About Sex---Salt-n-Pepa, 1991

The following is a recent conversation that I had with Lou (El Pain-o in My Ass-o) at dinner.  I CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP, Y'ALL. The Setting:  A Sushi Restaurant The Cast:  Lou, his wife--Linda, Hubby, and Moi The Scene:  Discussing Lou and Linda's recent vacation to Florida Me:  So, you had a nice time in Florida? ...more

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Never Take Advice From Vagina-less People

We all have friends that we don't see as often as we'd like to.  Yet, when we finally get together with those friends, it kinda feels like time has stood still...and you seem to pick up right where you last left off.  My friend, Debbie, and I have that kind of a relationship.  We've been friends since we were four years old and have remained in each other's lives throughout the years---even when things seemed way too busy or totally off kilter for ...more

Like Hair On Soap

I've got some good news AND some bad news. Today, I'm announcing the winners of my give-a-way!  Whoo hoo! But not before making you sit through a most uncomfortable blog update.  Before I begin, put your Cheerios down.  I'd rather not get blamed for you barfing your milk all over your keyboard.  ...more

I Swear. Therefore, I am.

It's 3:00pm on Tuesday, January 1, 2013 and I've already dropped several F-Bombs.  GO ME in two-oh-one-three! ...more

We Have Health Insurance. Go Buy Glasses.

The following is a recent conversation that I had with PC.  I didn't stab him in the process.  Thanks be to God. PC:  We're out of toothpaste. Me:  No, we're not. PC:  Yes, we are. Me:  No, we're not. PC:  This morning, I had to slice the Crest tube open with a razor blade so I could scrape out enough paste to brush my teeth. ...more

Beatdown In Aisle Four

Dear Mother-in-Law, I know you think that your son is all that and a bag of chips, but I need to tell you that, sometimes?  His behavior is completely unacceptable. Yesterday, after a workday from friggin hell (in which your son and I both had our asses handed to us on a platter) I decided to stop at the grocery store to buy a few healthy food items.  Because we drove to work together,  Sonny-Boy had to go shopping with me.  Oh, the joy ....more

He's No Freakin Bobby Flay

Yo, People of the Internet, I'm still here!  Thank you to all of the peeps who've sent me emails and  Facebook messages asking me if I'm still alive and telling me that you miss me.  If I win the lottery, I'm totally going to hook you all up.  I swear.  I actually have several blog posts that I'm working on right now, but for today, I just want to share a quick one with you. ...more

Twenty Years Later.....

Even though I've rubbed elbows with lots of dudes... ...more

50 Shades of TMI

When I was a little girl, pretty much all I ever wanted to do was hang around with my big sister, Natty (She's ten years older than me).  As you can imagine, when I was four and she was fourteen, Natty wasn't at all interested  in being my BFF because she was a teenager and I was a lame ass preschooler. Clearly, she didn't recognize my supreme awesomeness. To give you some background into my childhood and my somewhat forced relationship ...more