A-holes on a Train

Amtrak is many things. It is expensive. It is usually late ....more

A Letter From My Hair, Re: Live Readings and Other Public Appearances

Because I now occasionally appear in public for reasons other than to purchase toilet paper and expired generic fig bars from the Korean grocery store near my house, my hair and I decided it was time she made a statement. My apologies in advance....more

My Writing Process, Expressed in 37 Gifs

On good days, I'm all, So then I take a few hours days months off to rest. But on bad days, I'm like, And I resort to desperate measures. One day, The next day, One day, The next day, One day, The next day, Most days end like, Because.. ....more

Pub Day!

They say the Facebook posts explode on pub day...They say there's desperation in the air...But when you refresh AmazonAnd your book's not at number one*Frustration sets right in and you're nowhere....*pronounced "Juan" for rhyming purposes...more

LIKE NO OTHER news: McNally Jackson event and signing July 24!

Hi guys,My latest YA novel (which just got a starred review in Publisher's Weekly, something I'm pretty sure would have been impossible for my mom to plant) comes out July 24, and to celebrate, I'll be appearing at McNally Jackson Books...more

Celebrity Autobiographies That Need to Exist for the Good of Humanity

Bacon Bits, by Kevin BaconI mean, duh. This is a no-brainer, like Geiss Cubes from 30 Rock.Woah is Me: Blossom-ing Out of My Shell, by Joey LawrenceAm I the only one waiting for this? You know what, don’t answer that.I Once Got Busy in a Burger King Bathroom, by Humpty HumpSells itself, plus bonus fast-food advertising tie-in.Barack The Boat: Paddleboating With POTUSI’m envisioning a coffee table book with lots of glossy photos of Barry in cut-off shorts.You Can’t Spell Tyranny Without TYRA, by Tyra Banks.Optional subtitle: … or Tranny!Duckie Tales--OR!--Cryer me a River, by Jon CryerHe worked with Charlie Sheen for eight years ....more

My Writing Process--Not That You Asked!

What am I working on?...more

Patty Chang Anker on Her Nervy Creative Process #MyWritingProcess Blog Tour

I'm so excited to be a part of this month's #MyWritingProcess Blog Tour, where writers from across genres and continents talk about how they write. Today I'm featuring the incredible Patty Chang Anker, one of my costars in Listen To Your Mother, whose debut book, Some Nerve: Lessons Learned While Becoming Brave, was called "downright inspiring" by Oprah.com (OPRAH! DOT COM!), and was chosen as a Book of the Day by Elizabeth "Eat Pray Love" Gilbert ....more

How to Wish Someone a Happy Birthday on Facebook and (Maybe) Not Sound Like a Douchebag

Disclaimer: I wrote this a few years ago, but since my birthday is coming up next week, and I've been riddled with guilt from not wishing OTHERS a happy birthday on Facebook, it's been on my mind. Once upon a time, when a family member, close friend, or loved one celebrated a birthday, you were expected to send them a card. In the MAIL ....more

Brief But Important Lessons From the 2014 Oscars

1. Formal Khaki is the New Black I am admittedly biased, because "white person flesh" is my least favorite Crayola shade, but here's a new party game: See if you can distinguish Angelina Jolie from a jaundiced polar bear, or Cate Blanchett from a pair of honey beige control top pantyhose! Winner gets all the flan they can eat in one sitting.2. ...more