Bella

Before and After.  Certain times and events in our lives are so huge, so pivotal, that they define the fabric of our personal story.  Those things that leave such a mark on us that we begin thinking of our lives in terms of before this, and after this.  Most of us have a few of these before and after events.  For me they are: May 14, 1979, the death of my father; March 21, 1995, the birth of my daughter; September 19, 2001, the birth of my son and Spring 2013, entry into the rabbit hole....more

You're Should-ing All Over Yourself

A few months ago I read the book "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz.  It's a great book, that talks about the "agreements" that we all make with ourselves, and how they shape our lives.  Things like, "I'm good at this", "I'm bad at that", "I could never do that", "I need this a certain way to be happy", etc.  These agreements can be found in everything, from how we feel and think about ourselves, to how we show up in the world, to how we expect the world to be....more

The Serenity of Sadness

Throughout this journey, I think I have managed to hold it together pretty well, maybe too well. I had my share of meltdowns, but predominately in the realm of anxiety not sadness. I've obsessed, I've worried, I've won several gold medals in overthinking and immersed myself in happy distractions. That's what I do in the face of traumatic/dramatic events, I block, I distract myself, I don't let it in. I am GREAT at it. Until I'm not. Because inevitably the giant tsunami comes crashing down upon me. Like it is now....more

Once Upon Another Time

I lost the baby pool by 4 hours. The man who is technically still my husband has a new baby as of 4:00 am yesterday. I have spent the last 24 hours trying to decipher what it is that I am feeling. I think the answer lies somewhere in the haunting Sarah Bareilles song that has been running through my head on a loop since yesterday afternoon, "Once Upon Another Time"......more

Pay it Forward

"Pay it Forward"...when you do something good for someone, in response to someone doing something good for you; however you don't repay that person, you do something nice for someone else....more

Growing Old Gracefully (or NOT)

Ah, aging. If you have hit 40, possibly even your late 30's, then you are familiar with the feeling of dismay that comes when a new sign of aging appears. These signs come in a variety of ways, both physical and mental. Gravity kicks in. You lose your tolerance for Rap music. Hangovers last a minimum of 2 days. Your kids start having theme parties based on the decade you graduated from High School. The list is endless really....more

It's Goin' Down, I'm Yellin' Tinder

Have you heard of Tinder? It's a dating app that uses your Facebook profile and matches you with people based on your geographic/age preferences, mutual friends and interests. It takes all of 5 minutes to be up and running, then you anonymously like or pass on people by swiping left no/right yes. If you have both swiped right it results in a "match" and the app opens a text chat between you. In actuality it is a game, and when you hit on a match you have the option to stop and text your new match or "Keep Playing". I can handle playing. Dating, not so much....more

Disturbing Behavior

DISCLAIMER: As much as I will bash my soon to be ex-husband (EX) in my posts, it does take two. I wasn't a gem all of the time either, and I own my participation in the demise of our marriage. I sincerely wish him the best and send him love and light. But he just provides way too much material....more

Cinderella was onto something...

I may be Snow White, but I have to hand it to Cinderella. When the Universe sent her a fabulous pair of shoes she knew it was a sign to transform her life. Okay, maybe not in the most empowered of ways, but the girl knew not to underestimate the power of a great pair of shoes. It took me a while, but I finally learned that lesson as well....more