Fart Symphony

I ...more

Two Easter Fails For The Price of One

I had big plans. It was going to be a week of Easter crap on the blog. And then life happened ....more

How to Make Your Own Heater Out of Toilet Paper

I don’t really do zombies. The Walking Dead is way too scary for me, and I thought Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was very very stupid. I do, however, wonder from time to time how I would survive without, you know, electricity and stuff ....more

Ship Your Enemies a Glittery Bag of Dicks (from Penis Island)

I can’t tell you how many people saw that you could mail your enemy a bag of dicks and then let me know about it this week. It’s because you are My People and I love you guys. So thanks for sharing ....more

St. Patrick’s Day Green Bricks of Sugarturd

Please allow me to state here that I’m not a huge fan of St. Patrick’s day. I hate those little gold-foil covered chocolates, Leprechauns creep me out, and I am not Irish ....more

Testimonials From Unsubscribers and a Note For Email Subscribers

If you missed it, I sent out a newsletter email this week with the subject line, “Penis Fart Anus.” (Subscribe if you wanna.) We call this “filtering,” meaning everyone who doesn’t like penii, farts, and anuses (ani?) unsubscribes and I am only left with subscribers who actually, you know, like that stuff (and, by association, like me). Almost 100 people unsubscribed and, of those, 24 filed complaints with my email service provider. This is the most unsubscribes I’ve ever had, even when I drop f-bombs in the actual email ....more

A Failed Cookie Bowl Test and an Anus Analogy

You’ve seen them. I know you have. Turn a muffin tin upside down, slap some cookie batter on there, and the magic of baking produces awesomely adorable cookie cups which you can fill with whatever your little heart desires ....more

Wherein I Fail At Farts And/Or Crafts

I will admit that I originally pinned this because of the phrase “Farts and Crafts.” Image from Mr. Rooter The original pin led me to a site called Mrs. Rooter, but I guess Mr ....more

Penis Island

You may already know that I work in penis jokes the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It is my true medium. (Christmas Story? ...more

Are Those Stuffed Cabbage Rolls Worth The Pain?

So cabbage is a thing I didn’t think much about in my young life until my family moved to the South. Here, cabbage is quite important because of, you know, coleslaw, but you can also do many other interesting things with cabbage, like saute it with kielbasa. But without a cabbage-rich background, I admit I’m a little at a loss, so when I saw stuffed cabbage rolls, I thought I should learn how to do it ....more