All quiet on the coparenting front

It’s a brand new school year—well, DD1 has been in for about a month now, and this week, DD2 began kindergarten.  Kindergarten!  A whole new school, a whole new world!  The first two drop offs were a little frantic, DD2 clung to my shirt, but this morning, she gave me a kiss and was like, Bye Mom! Awww. My baby girl, getting to be grown up…in this crazy world.  Full of violence and heartache, and also mini miracles of kindness and goodwill. ...more

An anniversary of sorts...

A few days ago marks four years since my ex moved out of the house.“Just you wait,” he said, “You’ll miss how much I do around here.”What we missed:1)      No swearing in the mornings.2)       No breaking toys or plates or dishes or throwing remote controls or balls at bookshelves.3)      No screaming at the children, until they cried so hard they threw up....more

Looking Up!

Things are looking up lately—DD1 is all settled into her school year, excited that she’s remained in her reading advanced class and it looks like she was elevated to the math advanced class this year, too.  I’m so proud of her!  ...more

When it Rains, it Pours

I was torn on that last post—was it too much?  Is it wrong to share the private details of my marriage anonymously to the world?  I am very sorry if it is.  That I’m hemming and hawing and toying with regret for posting it, is probably an indicator that I may have done something wrong. That writing helps me cope with the stressors of life and knowledge and my family woes, is okay.  Maybe it’s not okay to put it out there in the ether. ...more

Lava on Our Minds

Believe it or not, my DD1 starts school next week.  Next week!!  Where did this summer go? In light of that, our little family took an impromptu and very last getaway to the Big Island.  To introduce the girls to lava for the first time--#walkingonlava to be exact. ...more

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby!

Salt N Pepa aside...I knew this day was coming, I just didn’t know when.  So when last week my precocious official fourth grade daughter piped up from the back seat, “Mom, have you heard about 50 shades of gray?  Sandy says it has lots of SEX in it.  What IS sex, anyway?,” I clutched my steering wheel a little harder, took a deep breath and dove right in. ...more

Love is Love

When I read Justice Kennedy’s final paragraph of his decision, my eyes welled up, my heart overflowing.  I thought about my Dad and J, spending lazy summers in their house, playing with their dog Benji, drinking coffee, yes, they let me have coffee!...more

Reunited! And Silly Family Stories...

The girls came yesterday, and I couldn’t be more happy! Their little faces, their voices saying, “mommy!” oh geez, my heart about melted out of my chest. Ladybug bounded up to me in pre-school and said, “mommy, I missed you so so so much!  I haven’t seen you for a long, long, long time!’” and she promptly jumped into my arms.  When we got home, A was also home from work, and Ladybug jumped into his arms (rather onto his shoulders) and didn’t leave for an hour.  ...more

Divorced or Single?

A friend of mine posted on her FB: it’s been 8 years since my divorce, so at the doctor’s office, I checked “single” rather than “divorced.”  I feel single, not divorced.  Does it matter?The reply comments ran along the lines of—well, it’s probably to keep medical records straight, especially if you used different names, so check divorced. ...more

I will get there one day, or the Black Hole,

Or, “How to Cope when your Kids are on an Extended Visitation.”  I know what I’m supposed to do—be open minded and happy and supportive.  Knowing time with the other parent is important for the children and good for them (when he is behaving well).  (I wonder when the caveat, the fear will end?) ...more