Eight helpful foodie tips you haven’t heard yet

Everyone has their own opinions on what makes good food. I was reminded of that during the Romanian Food Festival last weekend. I suspect the little skinless sausages were made of some very powerful lamb, which we are not used to at all. To us it tasted like gamey Slavic sweat, and my husband said he knew why Dracula (from Romania) switched over to feeding on humans....more

Genius solutions for your concert and party needs. But first, we make fun of Joyful Noise starring Dolly Parton.

Hello, Dear Readers!Yesterday my daughter had to get stitches in her leg because some kid at Chinese camp had broken glass in her backpack.  It wasn’t a malicious incident, but this just goes to remind everyone that even though children can do amazing feats like speak Chinese, solve tough math problems, and wow us with their expert navigation of television remote controls, sometimes they still think like little kids....more

The Moon, That Certain Book about Grey, and New Performance Art

I have a few friends and acquaintances who are doctors, nurses, and psychiatrists.  They swear that a full moon brings out the weirdest cases.  When the moon is beaming in all its glory, more babies are born, patients come in with strange and exciting injuries, and the mentally unstable become even more erratic.  I believe that it really does affect us, and last weekend there was a supermoon, which was even bigger and brighter than normal.  My mom posted something funny on Facebook: “If the moon is 14% bigger and 30% brighter, does that mean that people ...more

Magnets and Magnetic Personalities: New Warnings You Should Read

Have y’all heard of the little magnetic balls called Bucky Balls?  I would call them a toy, but the website makes it very clear that they are NOT for small kids.  If swallowed, the magnets can tear holes through intestine walls to join up with each other.  I looked for a gruesome picture of this on the Internet, but we are out of luck.  ...more

Visiting Dignitary: Russian Tortoise Prokofiev

My son is taking an Animal Science class this semester as an elective.  I didn’t really encourage the class because…I dunno…I’m not an animal person.  I think they belong in the wild, mainly because they BITE.  Plus, if a person dies with a houseful of pets and nobody discovers the body for a while, guess what the animals start eating?  Mmm hmm.  Just search “pets eating dead owners” on Google if you’d like examples.Of course, I guess it happens with people too, like the Donner Party.  Oh, dang it!  Now I’m suspicious of humans....more

What You're Missing at South by Southwest (SXSW)

Last year I went to South by Southwest (SXSW), a huge music festival in Austin.  It’s grown to include a technology conference, film festival, and basically anything that can be prefaced with SXSW and attract hipsters: SXSWedu, SXSW Eco, SXSW Elderberry Liquor Tasting, and SXSW Big Lebowski Clothing Expo.  Official disclaimer: I made up the last two....more

The Only and Ultimate Rich White Girl Problem

Hello, dear readers!  I made it back from Puerto Rico with no arrest record, despite hitting a woman in the head with my liquor-filled suitcase.  It was an accident, caused mostly by my rush to get out of the plane and not realizing that loading a carry-on with 4 bottles of coconut rum will make it difficult to retrieve from the overhead compartment.  Whoops.  Sorry, lady....more
 @Shannon LC Cate Yes, I agree that most people have the Cherokee claim, but I've never thought ...more

A Severe Lack of Baggage Means Trouble

Just in case I get arrested, thrown in jail, or mistaken for an international prostitute and exiled to the former Soviet block, I’d like a chance to explain myself.I’m leaving for Puerto Rico in a couple of days to join my husband, who is already there for a work meeting.  We’re going to spend the weekend together remembering that in addition to making solid roommates, we also really like hanging out with each other....more

I Ate My Twin, But She Still Haunts Me with Her Crazy Eye

Every time I see myself in the mirror or in a photo, I think about how I devoured my twin in the womb. She still controls half of my body, though.I first read an enlightening piece of science-meets-Newsweek (or some other near-tabloid) several years ago, and I haven’t looked at myself the same way ever since....more

Zippered Sweatshirts are from the Devil (Unless it’s Sunny Outside)

THANK GOD the sun is shining today, and it’s almost warm.  I can’t believe I have ever considered, even for a second, moving to a cloudy place.  Since I grew up in the plains during a 10-year drought, I think of rain as an excuse to stop regular life, stay indoors, and relax.  I didn’t even own an umbrella until I was 23.  It’s still hard for me to fathom actually accomplishing anything when it’s rainy....more