My son knows how to play me.

He pulled one of his giraffes up to his mouth and started soothing himself. That sucking sound, the swishing of spit through the fibers of that worn-out “lovey,” makes me want to toss the thing into the trees out back. But I don’t. The boy is attached, and that would be cruel. I endure it. Hoping he’ll doze off. He rolls over instead.“Mommy, I need snack.”Pretending to be asleep, I don’t move. For me, the night started with me stretched out in my bed. He must have called out around three AM because there I was, hoping he’d just… go back to sleep....more

Musical bedrooms and Sleepless Nights. What fatigue is teaching me about faith.

He sits in the corner of our big bed downstairs, clutching his giraffes and belting fearful, rapid-fire cries in the dark, “mommy? Mommy? Mommy?” Crawling into bed with him, while simultaneously wiping large streams of tears from both cheeks I offer a calm soft whisper, “I’m here baby. It’s ok. Do you want me to hold you?”Of course that’s what he wants. Every night lately, for the past month....more

A toddler's gift.

I heard sounds coming from the playroom that didn’t sound alarming, yet – my little ears sent up the mom sense that something was different. I ignored it. Then heard more sounds. A slapping of something soft. And a spreading of something perhaps softer… and brown… and stinky. Definitely stinky....more

The Doctor who Drugged me and The people who Don’t listen.

I’m going to be vulnerable in this post. Again. I don’t enjoy these posts. I wish this part of me didn’t exist because it is so darn lonely and people just don’t seem to get it. In all the time I’ve struggled, I’ve had two people other than my husband willing to just shut their mouths and listen. My sister and my husband’s sister-in-law.I’m talking about mental illness....more
I don't think pills should be prescribed without therapy. A pill can do some of the work, but ...more

I didn't quit my mom job.

Please, if you’re just visiting this blog, or you’re just a super judgmental, critical person and think I’m complaining about my kids, get a grip. It’s been a long day. And I’m at my limit. This is my rather weak and new attempt at finding humor in the tough stuff. And I’m trying to find the funny in moments that I know don’t last forever. I’m not superstitious, but… after the day I had… I’m beginning to wonder if there’s merit to the whole Friday the 13th bugaboo.It started divine enough....more
I'm new to being a stay at home mom and totally identify! Thanks for sharing. And here's to a ...more

Early Onset of Parental Embarrassment. Prognosis: Dire.

My husband is home early today after I straight up told him I'd had my fill of 6AM to 6PM caring for two little people. I'm not going to lie, this 16 months apart, two toddler thing is k-i-l-l-i-n-g me. My little one is now head-butting her brother, grabbing faces with force and my big little one... well, I don't know how he knows this... but he somehow has this sense that mommy... can be embarrassed.Back to that in a minute, but first... my husband....more

Why I won't be shamed into hiding the fact that I'm breastfeeding a toddler.

Image Credit: Tracy AtwoodPlaying with a baby doll this afternoon (when he was supposed to be napping) my two-year-old lifted his shirt, put that doll to his chest and said, “don’t cry baby. Here, have some milk.”I died.And gave him a nap pass....more

I deleted my iPhone Facebook app and it was good.

It's only been four days, but the time I've gained, since I let go of having access to Facebook while my children are up (which is happening a lot lately and not at all what this overly tired mom to two toddlers WANTS) seems like double that. Early last week, standing in the kitchen -- while my older toddler chatted from his high chair over breakfast, and my younger one quietly fed herself with the same precision she has since she was about 10-months-old -- I deleted that old Facebook app from my iPhone....more

Stacking Books ~ Saving Money

Had I known the drastic difference my not-so quick and not so simple clean up would make on my creative space, I would have taken pictures.Lo!I didn't.This is the best "messy shot" I have. Boo....more

Why I’m hanging up the smartphone.

It may have been somewhere around 3 AM when I lined up for my iPhone 4 back in July 2010. That hour didn’t bother me at all since, as a former TV news reporter, I was familiar with being called out at all hours. Having been out of the business for three years and forgotten the stench of death (since that’s usually what pulled a reporter from the comforts of sleep) I felt a little giddy being up before everyone else....more