Blur

I almost bought my father, who has been dead for five years a Christmas present today. A book, but not just any book, a $75.00 coffee table book: Fenway Park: 100 Years: The Official, Definitive History of America’s Most Beloved BallparkHe would have devoured it....more

We Are Enemies

I have never hit anyone in my life.A good friend pushed me in college because I was dancing with a boy she supposedly liked and I pushed back and another time, I slapped a guy for being crude, but that has been the extent of my physical altercations.I don't even know how to make a proper fist.But believe me when I say that I would go full on Fight Club on Infertility if we ever met in a dark alley....more

Hope

Feeling small, weak and out of control, I recognize these sensations. I've been here before. I am at the point during the dreadful two week wait where I turn into someone I know well but don't like very much.The hormones I'm taking (progesterone, estrogen and heparin) have had a chance to dig into my system encouraging my mind to go to ugly places, think ugly thoughts and say ugly things....more

If I Had Known

If I had known the last time I saw you was going to be the last time I'd ever see you...... I would have hugged you a little tighter and a lot longer.... I would have studied your face memorizing each and every line.... I would have reached for your hand and squeezed it hard, never wanting to let you go. ... I would bottled up your scent....more

I Thought Of You Today

I thought of you today as I cut up sheets of my son's school photos and made piles for family members. There should be a pile for you.I thought of you today when the construction and remodeling company called me this afternoon to give me an update on the work being done to your house, the house my sister and I now own. I thought of you today when an old colleague of yours commented on something I uploaded on Facebook....more

Somedays

Some days the sadness wins and you just can’t fight it.Some days the questions outweigh the answers.Some days there are more tears than smiles. Some days it would be so much easier to pull the covers way up over your head and stay in bed all day long. Some days holding on to the past is more comfortable than being in the present or looking forward. ...more

Heartbeat

I am 10 minutes early.After signing my name on the first available line, I sit and wait.Deliberately I thumb through magazines, one after the other as families of four smile up at me from the glossy pages.It’s finally my turn.I am ushered to a dark room and asked to undress....more

Tell Her

Tell her it has been far too long since we've seen her beautiful face or heard her deep laughter. Make sure she knows we miss her. Tell her we hear her; every single tear and every single plea and we wish we could provide the answers she seeks.  ...more

At Ease

We held hands the entire drive home from the therapist's office. Relief. A decision had been reached. The words spoken out loud.  Later would come the tears. And questions. So many questions....more
Beautifully written. And, I couldn't agree with you more: "Content" is such an ugly word. We ...more

A Tot in Tow

  My son's first time on an airplane was August 14, 2009. He was just nine weeks old. ...more