Life is a Tangled Web with a Twist

I have not posted in a while. I've been thinking. I finally came to the conclusion that I needed "help."  My husband and I clung to the hope that "help" would help me stop being so angry and sad.  The appointment was set weeks in advance because the "help" I selected (by "help" I mean therapist) was very booked.  ...more

Tonight ... I was helpful, I *think*

I think I helped tonight.  Time will tell if I am right.Approximately 3 weeks ago Manchild announced that he had a girlfriend.  This was good news  for his Dad and I.  He's 17 -- he ought to have a girlfriend.  That said, based on the rapid way they became a couple, I didn't have expectations that this relationship would be counted in months rather than weeks....more

So, I "Need" "Help" ...

Somehow being able to write gives me an outlet and makes me calmer, eases the resentment.I opened my BlogHer account today and noticed that my post "I am Evil" has 650 views, but "And So I Came Clean" has less than half that number, "Awkward" is under 100. I think that misery and drama "sells" (my blog is not monetized).  Figuring out that you are figuring things out, does not.  Reality is boring....more

Thanks so much for your comment.  I never thought he may just be trying to form a ...more


Sunday was my first post, the evil Post.  Tuesday night was the night I “Came clean.”  I thought somehow coming clean would make things easier, better. Perhaps in the same way that a cheater feels if they tell their spouse the guilt will be gone.  Except the guilt is replaced by sadness.  I’ve made my husband so very sad.  Mornings are a lot more quiet right now.  He says he’s waiting for Feb 5 – the first counseling appointment.  So we can start to fix this....more

And so I came Clean

It took less that 48 hours for me to tell my husband it existed.  It wasn’t until then I realized how hurtful a secret blog is.  I have a handwritten diary, that’s mine, He knows it’s there, he knows my angry and dark thoughts go into it.  (I often wonder why I never think to pick it up when I’m happy, to record and accomplishment, or just the joy of a day spent in bed eating Chinese take-out and watching movies.)  But a blog is different; it's all of my secrets posted for reading and commentin...more

I am glad you are seeking help. It sounds as though you are in a very loving relationship ...more

Dress Codes are for Everyone

I just became aware of the dress code issue in Mesquite County Texas regarding the length of 4 year old Taylor's hair.  If you aren't aware, here's a link to an AP story and video....more

I am Evil

Just so you know, my posts will never contain pictures.  I'm going to lie about where I live.  I'll hide from my family. So with an introduction like that why would you read on?  Well if you did, Kudos, or therapy wishes.  I'm not sure which is more appropriate.Why would I be so secretive?  Why would I hide?  In a nutshell, because I think that my honest feelings are, well, evil....more

I have several friends who have no desire for children. They do not hate them, they just ...more