How To Survive The Ashley Madison Hack, From Someone Who's Been There

I'll be honest, when the first reports that the group that hacked Ashley Madison did, in fact, release the user data, I was downright giddy. Having watched my own marriage fall victim to the site and it's purpose (though, honestly, it would have fallen sooner or later as obviously things were not as fixed as I believed and no website or lack thereof was going to replace the work needed from both parties) I felt slightly vindicated all these years later. ...more

Misery Business, The Vlog Series.

I'll be honest, when the first reports that the group that hacked Ashley Madison did, in fact, release the user data, I was downright giddy. Having watched my own marriage fall victim to the site and it's purpose (though, honestly, it would have fallen sooner or later as obviously things were not as fixed as I believed and no website or lack thereof was going to replace the work needed from both parties) I felt slightly vindicated all these years later. And for the record, yes, I checked for his email ....more

On Self-Love, Forgiveness, and Magic.

I've been thinking a lot about self-love, lately. It's come up numerous times in therapy, as well as in my online support groups and my social circles. I see quotes and poems pop up on Pinterest and Instagram; I read articles upon articles shared in my Facebook feed or sent to me through private messages ....more

In The Span Of A Summer.

There is still so much that is up in the air, right now. Nothing is finalized, yet. I can't really talk about any of it, either, because that's just life as it is these days ....more

On Scents and Sheets.

{Ed. note: I wrote this almost a month ago. I've been sitting on it, unsure of wanting to share, but I think it's the first step in a process I've begun that I'd like to talk more about, so, here it is ....more

Sisters, From Other Misters.

"Mommy, tomorrow we go see Mr. Map?" I am trying to tuck her into bed after a second late summer night in a row. Freshly bathed and avoiding the actual tucking-into-the-bed part, her tiny voice lilts with excitement and joy ....more

On Re-Entry.

I went to NYC for BlogHer '15 and all I got was an extreme re-entry hangover. To be blunt, this trip was The Thing I Had To Look Forward To, when in my darker moments over the last couple of months, people with concern weighing their voices heavy would ask what I had to keep me going, to get me out of bed each morning and through my days without harm. If I could just get to mid-July, if I could just get to my roommates and the other people who love me, if I could just get back to the city and to learning and to expanding and to a moment to breathe away from everything that weighs me down here at home, then maybe .. ....more

A Late Night Letter.

Hey, you. So I just now finished watching Wild because I've come to grips with that my life these days is not conducive to reading all the things I'd like to -- and a funny thing happened. See, it's about this woman, Cheryl, who gets through her divorce and the death of her mom and a slight heroin addiction by hiking some trail that runs from practically Mexico to Canada over on the West Coastish area ....more

On Choking.

The words are caught in my throat. I choke on them, daily. Nine people are gunned down by a relative child in the name of hate, most of them women, and I choke ....more

Misery Business.

"You know he wants to marry you, right?" Kyle said with that little laugh-snort he does when he's being smug. I've grown accustomed to it, except in arguments, where it still infuriates me. It has a wide range of nuance in his bizarre way of emoting, and here it carried the inflection of slight disbelief laced with maybe wounded amazement ....more