On the Power of Words and Speech Acts

When you are walking with a friend and you say “I see a hummingbird,” your statement is not in itself the act of seeing, is it?  In this case the words are a description of something that just happened - an act, performed with your eyes in concert with your attention, brain, nervous system, and a set of unconscious agreements you have with the rest of the world about what we call a hummingbird and what we call seeing. ...more

Internet Dating Advice for Men from an Aging Single Girl

If you’re a guy, you might think that telling a woman on an internet dating site that you are excited to get to know her and you think she might be “the one” would light her up, right?  Wrong!  What lights up are the flashing red lights.While I’d love a forever partner with all the qualities important to me who thinks I’m the best thing that ever happened to him - Who doesn’t want that?  - I want it to be real!  That is to say I want to be known for who I am before someone makes those declarations.  ...more

Notes from an Aging Single Girl

The first time I experienced the sixties I was a lot younger.   Truthfully, I’m having more fun in MY sixties than I did in THE sixties.  I worry less and appreciate more., but after 14 years, I’ve had enough of being single.  Life is too awesome to not share with someone special!...more
@tamarama Thanks so much for taking the time to say so - hope you enjoy all the blessings of a ...more

Buying Into Poisoning Your Family Because it's Cheaper than Real Food?

Some argue that it’s cheaper to feed a family fast or factory farmed “foods” than nutrient rich, organically grown real food.   If you believe that, try saying it this way instead: “It’s easier to poison my family and make them sick than it is to find ways to keep them alive and healthy.”  How does that feel?Now consider this: Where there’s a will, there’s a way. ...more
Thank you for this! My niece is in this place. She says she can't afford to buy organically, ...more

Too Close to Home(less)

No one ever wants to say, “I’m almost homeless.”  Nor hear it from a friend or family member.  It evokes a barrage of unwanted emotions for both speaker and listener, which may include pity, shame, guilt, shock, disgust, and assorted judgments.  All are expression of fear: if it can happen to them, you could be next, right?  Nobody wants to look at that, so the fear usually dresses as pity or judgment first. ...more
Hi Gracie,  Lately I've seen two different, very inspiring videos on UpWorthy etc. regarding the ...more

Staying in a difficult conversation . . .

We’ve just passed the one-year anniversary of the mass shooting in Aurora Colorado, and I want to reflect on something good that came from a conversation when it was fresh news. I met a young veteran of one of our recent wars in the Middle East on Facebook. (I’ll call him Paul.)He didn’t like my comment on a friend’s post.   I’d said that my compassion extended to the shooter as well as the victims and their families, because we never know what kind of pain a person must be in that would cause them to do such a thing. ...more