The Need to Be a Perfect First Time Mom

Oh, and the phrase "Charity begins at home" is not a specifically American one. Please read http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/7/message... Charles Dickens was not American.

So, because we Americans invade countries for oil and political and financial power and deprive other nations of assistance (think Sudan) allowing tens of thousands to die because there is nothing in it for us, and we are the most giving nation in the world, I should not remember that when we first came to this country and had nothing, the people who donated to us were immigrants who came before us but not Americans. And I should donate to Americans instead of immigrants who have nothing and who I hear constantly "leach" off the American welfare system because they have nothing. No, I'm sorry, because I know what I went through and what immigrants go through, I've searched in my heart deeply who I should donate old clothing, furniture, etc. to and nobody can sway me on that. Because I know what is right in my heart for me and my family. Not trying to argue, saying I've been there and know more of what immigrants go through and who helps them and who snubs them. And about American and world politics. Btw, I love America.

Polish Mama, you just have to do what you know in your heart is right for you and your family. That is all. Not sure about the whole immigrant comment. I was raised IN America, so because as Americans, we are always reaching out beyond our boundaries and giving far more than we should ever want or need in return, then yes, it is important to donate within our borders as well. That's why there is a special saying here "Charity begins at home". It's why we are arguably the strongest nation on the planet....and patriotically proud of it. Americans are unquestionably THE most giving and generous collective nation on earth....so it would be nice if you would think about that and yes, donate to Americans, as well. It doesn't have to be "either/or" - it can be both. God Bless! :)

Fun. I get it from both men AND women that I am a bad mother. For teaching my kids Polish, for not teaching them Polish, for teaching them to donate to immigrants instead of Americans "because (insert bigotted reason here)", teaching them to not eat a cookie at every snack time, feeding them a cookie sometimes, whatever. As a woman and a mother, you just never win. As an immigrant, you just never win. Oh well...

I actually forbade my mother (and anyone else) from coming near us the first few weeks after my son was born. I wanted a chance to be a mom first without being told I was a BAD mom. I was told for a long time that being a mom changes who you are, which was really the scariest bit for me, but after my first was born... Man, I figured out real quick that my kids need ME, not some super mom who changes everything about themselves to play a part for the outside world.

I did for the first couple of years, but now i trust my instincts & realize that nobody knows my child like i do.

Thanks for reading ladies :) It's so odd that the bigger decisions we've made (such as whether to breastfeed, cloth diaper, where she sleeps and how etc.) I have no problem not caring what other people think. It's the day to day things that I end up feeling like people may thing I'm a nut job :)

absolutely!!!

Oh I knew I would never be perfect....I didn't even try...I did what worked/works and got tons of critical remarks about it....HA, I say today....my kids are always complimented on how well behavied and polite they are....I must have done and are doing something right.

Ahhhhhhh, the on-going struggles of motherhood! Now if people could just mind their own business!!!

Yes. I still struggle with it. It's less about mothering and more about my personality though. I promise I'm working on it. ;)