The Need to Be a Perfect First Time Mom
By jacklynnfry on January 31, 2012
Featured Member Post
I often feel like I need to prove myself as a mom, especially as a first time mom. My guess is many moms have felt that way at one point or another. There are many times when I take comments personally that were probably not intended to be taken as a criticism.
Today the comment that got me thinking came from my husband's grandmother at church. She made a comment about how it was too warm for my almost 8 month old daughter because we had put a heavy jacket on her. In the moment it made me feel like I had done something wrong. If I'm being honest, it wasn't that I thought I had put my daughter in an uncomfortable situation -- (I don't think she was hot) -- but that she was thinking that I was lacking in the mom department. (Gosh doesn't she know how to dress her own child?!)
Now she probably was making a simple comment about how it was too warm in the church in general (and had nothing at all to do with how she was dressed), but because of my need to make people think I have it all together I went into my ridiculous mind frame of, "Oh no, she thinks I'm stupid."
I don't even know why I care what people think of how good of a mom I am. I know I am a good mom, even if this is my first go around. I love my daughter very much and I believe my actions show that. I guess because I am a first time mom, I assume people think I don't know what I am doing, and I suppose they are right -- I AM learning as I go. Why do I feel like I need to portray that I am some superhuman woman who always has the mommy intuition superpower? Maybe if I instead could just admit that yes sometimes I dress my daughter in clothes that don't match and socks that are too small and -- *GASP* -- I accidentally let her roll of the couch the other day (ugh I beat myself up over that one), I could help another mom to not feel like she has to fill the role of the perfect mom.
Even when I have a second child it will all be new; I will have never been the mom to two before.
I hope with my new revelation I can accept the fact that I don't have to portray that I am a super mom with it all together -- that helps no one. One can simply look at my failed Pinterest craft attempts and know that I don't have it all together! Norah doesn't care though that her turkey handprint craft didn't turn out. What truly matters is that I try my best and learn from my mistakes.
Oh, and not care what other people think about my parenting skills, such as if I forget to make her clothes match that day.
I might not be perfect, but she's turned out okay so far if you ask me.
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