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I am the wife of a wonderfully supportive husband and the mother of two beautiful children. I am passionate about my family and my career, and I work...
 
 
 
 

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Networking For The Unemployed Mom

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Like millions of other Americans, I have recently been laid off (no, I was not Dooced). There are pros and cons to being temporarily unemployed. The benefits include taking my son to school (allowing me to get to know other moms and the operations of the school); spending more time with my baby girl; doing the things around the house I’ve never had time to address; creating CareerMama; and introspecting about my career plans. The most obvious cost is the lack of a paycheck. Other costs are missing the excitement of working with a team to make an organization profitable, the thrill (and stress) of sales and business development, and the daily adult interaction on topics that are totally unrelated to diapers and potty training.

 

Within the parent community at my son’s school, I’ve had the opportunity to network with a lot of stay-at-home moms and a few moms who are now looking for work. Attending birthday parties, school functions, and play dates give me the opportunity to build relationships that could turn into long-lasting friendships for my children and me.

 

Networking with professionals is not totally unlike networking with parents. In both cases you want to make a good first impression, and in both cases you might be a bit nervous to meet new people. Of course, when you attend professional networking events, you are looking for someone who will ultimately employ you. Such events can be very stressful if you have not attended them in a while or have only attended a few in your career. It can be especially hard if you have been working for the same company for a while and haven’t had the opportunity to hone your networking skills. As someone who is involved in sales and business development I have attended many events, but I am always nervous about meeting new people and presenting myself in the right way (especially when I am meeting potential employers).

 

I recall driving to a recent networking event with a lump in my throat, wondering if I was going to meet my future employer that night. I remember thinking, “What am I going to say when I get to actually talk to the person with whom I most wish to speak?” When you are in a sales role or work for a smaller company, you have to know the company’s elevator pitch. Likewise, when you are looking for a job, you have to be ready with an elevator pitch about yourself. If you are out of work, you will inevitably hear the same question over and over, “So, what do you want to do now?” You are probably thinking, “Anything but look for another job”, but you have to answer that question. You’ll get similar questions when networking with other moms. You don’t want to seem wishy-washy, as you never know whom that person might know. Doing some introspection and becoming knowledgeable about companies in your preferred industry will help you with your “pitch”.

 

Trying to stay focused at networking events can also be difficult. You will most likely have arranged to have your spouse, partner, or babysitter watch your children. You have to have intelligible conversations with people and keep your focus. It is hard to resist entertaining momentary thoughts about your kids: what are they doing, did someone have an accident, are they being fed properly, did they go down to sleep without a fuss? While mingling and making small talk, you are tempted to check your phone every now and then to see if you have a missed call or a text message, especially since you often can’t hear the phone ring feel it vibrating. It can be difficult, but you must try and concentrate on the task at hand

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Wilma Ham 5 pts

I used to hate these events and as I felt it was all about being judged I used to be so focused on me, I forgot to be observant and read the clues. I hated that!

Now I go with one thing in mind, to add value to whom I meet and to focus on them and NOT on me. I am no longer trying to sell myself and that has left me to do what I normally do well, observe and connect and have a great conversation.
This way the authentic me has a chance to show up and 'that me' is a whole lot better than the nervous wreck who was trying to make an impression. 

That attitude had made such a difference, I feel so less needy and even there and then I have the power to decide if something is for me or not, because somehow this way honesty has a chance to show up and have each of us declare our neeeds and wants.
I also have realized that the others are selling as well and I do not have to buy either.

That has given me my self steem and power back and I perform so much better, phew.  

Wilma Ham

www.wilmasblog.com ( http://www.wilmasblog.com/ )