Never Underestimate the Power of a Punchbowl

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Today's pithy pearl of wisdom is short and sweet: Never Underestimate the Power of a Punchbowl...especially in these tough economic times. People love punch...old or young, male or female, Catholic or Agnostic. And, like Betty White, its appeal crosses all racial and socioeconomic lines. I have seen, with my own bloodshot eyes, a bearded construction worker and Feminist Studies professor merrily clinking glasses with a Dolly Parton impersonator. Offer the masses a big cauldron of pink, sparkling, 80-proof punch, and they will choose it over the stoic scotch or temperamental tequila every time. So, if you want to throw a fantabulous party on the cheap, follow these simple steps.

Punch bowl

1) Acquire punchbowl (I suggest from an elderly relative or the Goodwill).
2) Dump in any combination of liquor...you can mix dark and light, rock gut and top shelf. Any booze will do. (This not only will serve as the base for your punch, but will kill all germs and eliminate your need to wash the bowl, thus saving time and water.)
3) Add bottle of something fizzy. I prefer cheap champagne, but ginger ale will do.
4) Top off with juice of choice. (Technically, Blue Raspberry Mad Dog 20/20 is not considered a juice, but I've tried it and it works just dandy). Juice not only adds Vitamin C to the mix, but allows you to color coordinate your punch with your outfit or home decor.

For those prone to pretentiousness:
To add a scoop of extra fancy: drop in a couple of dollops of sorbet.
If you want to get a tad more uppity: Freeze trays of juice cubes and add.
Ready to go full on Martha Stewart: Put fresh mint into cubes before freezing.

Now, I've got to go concoct myself a batch for the Disco Dancarama that I throw for myself each weekday afternoon. When I get the Boogie Fever, only punch can quench my thirst.

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