A New Man for Mother’s Day? Give Yourself the Gift of Love Minus the Guilt
By loribizz on May 06, 2010
Here comes Mother’s day...
If you’re a single mom with school-aged children, you’re probably left to organize the festivities for yourself. “Is it possible to ask my daughter to find me a new man for Mother’s Day?” Tina Horn, a mother of two teenage girls’ chuckles when asked what she wants this year. “The last time I went on a date, my daughters were probably in diapers. I’d love to make a resolution to start going out again,” she says.
Tina is not alone. According to the US Census Bureau, there are approximately 10 million single mothers in America. Many of whom are longing for a chance at love but use excuses like being too busy, tired or not feeling comfortable being in a relationship with a man while their children still need them around..
“Many single moms feel guilty about dating because they’re aware of their children's allegiance to their father,” says Natalie Robinson Garfield a psychotherapist specializing in parent-child education and author of The Sense Connection. “Dating exposes them as romantic, sexual people and highlights their feelings of failure in the marriage.”
With the decade closing in, it’s time to make a commitment to treat yourself well this year. On May 9th, give yourself the gift of love without feeling bad. Here a few ways to get your engine going again:
Online Dating: join an online dating site specific to your age, situation, or interests. There are many options to choose from and millions of men looking for someone just like you.
Singles Groups: according to Garfield, a singles group is a great way to feel more secure and knowledgeable about dating. Although it’s best to join one locally for face time and real connections, virtual options can help you meet people too.
Matchmakers: hire a matchmaker to help you find exactly what you’re looking for in a mate. This can save valuable time when you have a household to manage. There are bound to be dating services around or near you that can help.
Community: get out there and enjoy your own neighborhood. Join the gym, start a new hobby, or simply go for a walk. Start asking around to see if anyone knows of eligible men in your neighborhood. Don’t be shy. Sometimes all it takes is asking around before neighbors start introducing you to single men they know.
For those single mommies who already have a love interest they want to introduce to their kids, preparing your children ahead of time is the key. Explain to them how important it is to you that your new boyfriend joins in the Mother’s Day celebration. Garfield recommends forewarning your love interest to play third fiddle around the kids. She says this will help. However, the most important thing is to make sure that he is someone who has the potential to be a long-term partner.
No matter how you do it, it’s important to take good care of yourself along the way. Remember, Mother’s Day is the one day of the year when you can be in charge. After all, single moms deserve love too.
Lori Bizzoco is a writer living in Brooklyn, NY. She is working on a memoir detailing how she found love in less than a year. For more dating advice, follow her on twitter at www.twitter.com/loribizz or check out her website at www.loribizz.com
Originally posted by SingleEdition
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