new traditions in a blended family
By thesaltygrape on November 04, 2012
Blending old traditions with new traditions is not always as tricky as you might think. I am singing a new tune today even though last week I let everyone know how stressful it can be. At least Halloween in this blending family went off with lots of smiles and some very tired kids. This mom even has a war wound on my leg. When out in the neighborhood trick-or-treating some scary monster attacked my leg! If only that was how the story went. That would be less embarrassing, but not exactly what happened. The real story is even when you are supposed to act your age, be the adult, and set an example, even I have momentary lapses of reality. I apparently will never learn to stop messing around with my black-belt, sansei brother. Really I will never learn, as the older sister I should still be able to take down my baby brother with one single leg swipe, even when trick-or-treating. Will I ever grow-up or at least learn that he is all grown up and much stronger than me? Probably not, hence the massive bruise on my leg. He is lucky he’s loved! All is forgiven. My brother and his girlfriend have been trick-or-treating with the kids and me for probably the last 5 years. My mom (Gammie) was there too. My brother used every opportunity to hide behind a bush and scare the kids and apparently they never learn either and remember to watch what may be lurking behind that bush for the fifth time in a row. Definitely good stuff.
Halloween night was a blast. Surfer Boy pre-ordered pizza's earlier in the day to avoid the crowd, made Caesar salad, and off we went! What a guy!
The truth is, with the right attitude you can make anything fun and worth looking forward to next year or the next holiday. What are some of yours and your children's traditions and the traditions of your love and his little ones? Respecting them and incorporating them make new traditions and then everyone feels like they are a part of it. I did talk about some of the hurdles we overly protective, must have everything right, and want everyone happy types. Who me? Maybe your approach is laid back and let the day progress, or maybe you need to be in control and plan each and every moment. I don’t think either way or is right or wrong as long as you have the right attitude and everyone's best interest at heart.
When I was younger, after the first year my ex-husband and I started living together, we had our first Christmas together with his daughter. I remember him getting a call from his ex-wife making sure that I didn't throw out all the Christmas ornaments she left behind. All I could think of was, that's terrible and what kind-of step-monster would I be to do something like that? I have Christmas ornaments from when I was a kid that I still look for on my mom's tree. Well, the tree was already up and all of the ornaments she left behind that my stepdaughter wanted to keep were hanging. The rest went out in the trash and over the years, we added to the collection. For some, they might not want anything from the child's past. Before you make any selfish decisions that may involve hurting any of the children, think how you would feel if some stranger came in to your home and decided to throw away some of your valuable things from your childhood? Then your next move is to get over yourself. Enjoy the things they love and make it yours too! Share their joy!
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