Newsweek Targets Angelina and Brad's Daughter Zahara.......Over Her Hair?

Ahh, black hair.

Why there is so much pain and frustration surrounding not just how a black woman chooses to wear her hair, but how other's perceive us because of our hair, it really makes me wonder about human beings.

I'm not being dismissive, because I have to check myself from judging others everyday. After putting in a weave earlier this year and taking it out a few months later, I have realized how much how you wear your hair really says to the outside world. You might dismiss it, declaring 'It's my choice' and yes, it is, and no you shouldn't care what other's think. But it does matter.

Recently two great examples of how black hair is viewed in the larger society became present in the media. The first was Chris Rock's documentary Good Hair and the second was an article that came out a couple of weeks ago and a follow-up article a couple of days ago from Newsweek's Allison Samuels, who took actor Angelina Jolie to task because apparently Jolie is letting her adopted 4 year-old daughter Zahara's hair go 'nappy':

In recent pictures it's clear Angelina Jolie hasn’t taken the time to learn or understand the long and painful history of African-American women and hair. If she had I can’t imagine she would continue to allow Zahara to look like she has in the past few months. Photos of  Zahara show the 4-year-old girl sporting hair that is wild and unstyled, uncombed and dry. Basically: a “hot mess.’’

Now before I go on to the thousands of blogs who have tore Samuels a new one for this article, from reading the first piece, what Samuels seems to be saying is not what I expected when I first heard about this story. She is not suggesting that Jolie straighten Zahara's hair, just run a comb through it. Is that bad? No.

What is a bit suspicious is that Samuel's takes the position that it what is other's think, is more important than Zahara. Also, as Samuel's starts off the article with a story about Tom Cruise's son Conner, who is biracial, she seems to hint that the real problem is white parents adopting black children and then conveniently forgetting that the child's ethnicity differs from theirs. I agree with her on the Cruise issue, as I feel that Cruise and probably the mother of Conner, Nicole Kidman, are both in a fantasy world. Or just narcissists who feel that if they view the world a certain way, the world will follow in their footsteps. "We don't see colour." Give me a goddamn break.

When I was a kid, my hair looked even worse than Zahara's but I don't think her hair looks particularly unkempt - mine really was. I know though, that when someone touches your hair and they don't realize the texture, it is going to be painful. Perhaps Jolie has had a screaming toddler on her hands who cried when Jolie came towards her with a fine-tooth comb. I know I did.

I must also add that Samuels backs up her argument using other blogs who scorn Jolie for allegedly not taking care of Zahara's hair. And she is right. People are skeptical that this beautiful white rich actor couple adopted not only an African child, but other children of other ethnicities. Instead of applauding her for adopting, we are critiquing her when many people would never even think of adopting at all. But it's okay when black bloggers critisize; it's not okay when a black journalist does it in a publication in which is geared towards a white audience.

Tami from What Tami Said brought up a great point: Maybe Jolie simply wants Zahara to be comfortable in her own skin. Maybe she wants to celebrate the inner beauty of her daughter instead of educating her that her hair as to be 'done' in order to be accepted by the westernized standards of beauty:

Instead of teaching Zahara to conform, as Samuels would advocate, I suspect her mom and dad are teaching her to love herself, including her hair, the way it is--whether in multiple braids and beads or flying free. Later, Zahara can wear her hair however she pleases--a bald fade, an asymmetrical bob, dreads, or long, flowing and bright red. If her parents are successful, she will make those decisions free of feelings of hatred for her natural hair and without the pressure of judgement from people like Samuels who seek to impose their own hair "issues" on another.

Samuels responded to the furor over her first piece by stating that she was not backing down from her initial post. My initial opinion that her post was more about transracial adoption still stayed with me, as she doesn't bother to clarify her earlier remarks. Gina from What About our Daughters responded to Samuels argument about why young black girls need to have 'presentable' hair:

Samuels said this: Hair that is nice, neat, and cared for also gives African-American girls the confidence that they can fit into the world at large without being seen as completely different.

BWHAHAHA Are you reading what the heck you’re writing? Combing, brushing and SLATHERING you hair every night is a sign of pride dignity and self respect? NO, its a sign you’re jacking up your hair. Where did you get you hair styling expertise? Don King and Al Sharpton? Oh yeah right, you got it from Media Take Out’s comment’s section. To support her broadside of a Black toddler, Ms. Samuels relied on such reliable sources as the comments section of Media Take Out. Are you serious? Media Take Out? Even the people who comment on Media Take Out don’t take MTO as seriously as Allison Samuels did.I mean would a White reporter try to pass off the comments at the National Enquirer as credible commentary?The reason why our hair is breaking off is because we do to much to it.

Latoya Peterson wrote at Jezebel about the pain of criticism from other black people  - and I would argue that most of the OVERT criticism does come from other black folks - other people just won't give you a job. But from your 'own' it hurts the most:

Are her memories scarred with the taunts of other children? My cousins came home crying after being teased about their "beady-beads" and their "kitchens." And who did the taunting? Many times, it was other black students. We need to stop encouraging conformity and hair hatred, because there is a logical end to the path we are walking down. Instead of fighting each other when someone's hair doesn't conform to our specific ideals, wouldn't it make more sense to fight against a racist system that penalizes and politicizes certain hair styles?

Peterson has a valid point. There are two black kids that live in my building and while I have seen them being escorted home from school / daycare by a young black woman, I do not think that she is related to the children. The summertime was the first time I saw one of the kids, a cute little girl around 8, playing with another girl in front of my building. It was hot that day, yet the little girl was wearing nothing but an old, oversized dirty men's trenchcoat and pink flip-flops. The trench was tied around her waist with a raggedy belt.

But it was her hair that first alarmed me: Her natural, short afro was matted beyond reason. Matted pieces were sticking up all over the place and it looked filthy. Honestly? I was quite shocked. And my first thought was, Lord have mercy, who would let their child in public with that hair? But it was pretty obvious that the girl needed help. While the thought of interrogating the little girl - who, or were where her parents, was she okay?.....I felt that it was not my place and didn't want to embarass the kid.

A couple of days later I saw the girl again, with a little boy who was about 2 or 3 and the young woman. The kids seemed to love the woman, and while even to this day the little girl's hair is in the same, ahem, 'state', I have briefly (and secretly being nosy) talked to the woman and the kids are getting some support.

The point is, I judged this girl...and it was my first reaction. And honestly? Samuels does have a point. Black folks do not let their little black girls out in the world without their hair done. It doesn't have to be hot-combed or chemically straightened, but it always looks like someone spent some time on it. And I do think that it is because we are too concerned about what other people think. What are white folks going to say? Are we going to embarass the Whole Race?

And I understand Samuel's consternation about Jolie, yet I don't buy the whole cow. My mother did not know what to do with either mine or my older sister's hair. I remember screaming in pain and learning to hide when she would come looking for me with a fine-tooth (white people) hair comb. My hair was a total mess. While my father will never admit it, I think he was embarrassed of us and finally found a black woman in town to do our hair.

Non-black folks who adopt black children need to learn how to manage black hair. Period. Not any amount of  love is going to change that. I might not totally agree with Samuel's overall argument, but she does have a point. We do care what other people think.

Too much.