Nie Asks on BlogHer: Do You Check in on Your Kids at School?

No.

But I want to. I force myself not to. But I'm trying to let him find his own way in this. As there haven't been any issues, socially or academically yet, I am just making sure to be as present as I can when he is at home. It's been a difficult transition -- for me.

The older boys' schools practically seal the building once the first bell rings (and one of their schools even has a Chicago police officer standing guard), so it really thwarts my ability to sneak an occasional peak. My preschooler has a very open door policy with a one-way window where parents can see the kids, but they can't see us. LOVE that! It's amazing how diffferent and "big" your kids seem when the safety of mom is no longer (or so they believe). Yup. I can be a bit of a stalker at the preschool. But I bring donuts.

No. As a former teacher, I know you impede on their self confidence when you do that. That's a good example of helicopter parenting. We need to respect that is "their time" to build self confidence in themselves and the world. Is it loving and appropriate to check in with them after school and let them tell you about their day? Yes.

At my district, I would (when my child is school age) but it's not allowed. We are not allowed to go near classrooms unless we have a visitors pass. And then it sort of defeats the purpose of "checking up on them". Of course everything is going to be great, they had advanced warning to clean up their acts and the kids had advanced warning to start behaving.

Why the heck would I do that? Why on earth would I interrupt the school day, potentially disrupt whatever the teacher is doing, and miss work to check in on my kid(s)? Am I worried about what they are learning or how they are learning it? Am I worried about social interaction (yeah, mommy showing up is only gonna make that worse)? If you want to help out in the classroom, ask the teacher, but don't for one moment think that you are helping your kid.

Seriously, if you are that concerned over your child at school -- and you actually have the time to think that taking time out of your day to check in at school is a good idea -- then get their butts out of that school and consider HOMESCHOOLING.

Let the flames begin!!

My kids are older now, so I don't check in anymore, but when they were in elementary school I did want to know what was going on in their classroom. I found that the best way to do that would be to volunteer to help the teacher. I either signed up to be room mother or I helped by going in once a week and doing all of the xeroxing for the week...handouts, worksheets, etc. It took no more than an hour a week, the teacher was happy to have the help, and I got to stick my head in and see what was happeneing in class.

Volunteering is a better way to check in than just showing up. That really throws the class off, and interrupts the teacher's lesson plan when parents jsut randomly show up during the day. I also did PTA and came in for lunch with my kids occasionally, so that's a good way to get to know the other teachers and see how they interact with the kids.