the Nightclub Diaries Chapter 4 - Dancin' Machine

    Yo baby party, you c'mere give me a kiss, better make it fast or else i'm gonna get pissed, can you hear the music pumping hard like I wish you would, now push it, push it good.......

    That is not a poem. 

     This is a song, a song by the very popular 80's group Salt and Pepper. I only bring it up because I heard it almost every night I worked, with the exception of country night.  You would be surprised how many people love that song.  The lyrics are very naughty, which is why people like it so much I think, that , combined with alchohol also convinced quite a few of them that Soul Train, or So You Think You Can Dance would soon be calling. 

    I've always wondered; does the girl rubbing her backside up against her boyfriends crotch think no one is really looking?   Or does she revel in the crowds supposed appreciation of her near 'strippesque' prowess on the dance floor.  I'm sorry, but if you see that girl at church, or the supermarket, you are not going to look at her  the same way you used to.  Just like when you drive past Ace Hardware Store you will forever think of a tall blond dancer with a tool belt.  (you're welcome). 

    There  were lots of sexy songs played to try to get people to lose their inhibitions and drink and dance more.  The sexier the club, the more people who would want to be there.

    All those on the sidelines of the dance floor would overdose on liquid courage so they too could shake their groove thing.  What's amazing is how many bad dancers there are!  You would think there would be more good dancers than bad ones, but it was just the opposite! And of course the really crappy ones are the ones that think they can serioulsy move.  There are the girls that shake their long hair from side to side like one of 'those' girls from a rock video, not realizing that in the video, the girls weren't right next to a whole lot of people who just got a mouthfull of her hair.

    That dirty dance I mentioned before, that used to be called a 'lap dance' (and still is) was then called 'doggin', then 'freakin' and finally the famous 'twerking'.  I believe the different names for dances are thought up by college students who are both drunk and stoned.

    Then you have to uptight girls, who only said yes to the dance request because they want to be seen.  They nervously bounce up and down slightly, elbows held tightly to their sides, hands up, fingers snapping kind of off beat.  Their eyes will look everywhere but at the guy they are dancing with.  These are the girls who will get drunk and let a guy pick them up, sleep with him, and then blame the alcohol, when its clear thats what they set out to do in the first place.  (sorry if this was your MO when you used to go to the club. )

   There are the groups of girl dancers who form a rowdy, loud, "look at me!" cirlcle, occasionally dancing dirty on each other, because they know it turns the guys on and they are gaurenteed an audience.

    Guys generally don't like to dance.  They will, if it means they might get laid, but their hearts and most certainly their souls are not in it. These are the ones who dance shifting from one foot to the other, leering, or if you will , smiling at what is their feverent hope of a lover.

    Have you ever noticed the faces guys make when they dance?  Of course you have.  There is the ever popular pursed lips withone eyebrow raised like they are picturing themselves in a spy movie, the lead, debonair secret agent man.   There is also the lip biter, he sucks his lower lip through his teeth, and its obvious that its his "O" face too.  LOL

   I always thought these faces were learned, just picked up.  From other guys because they thought it looked cool.  Not so.  When my son was about 3, we were driving in the car, listening to music, and I'll be damned if he didn't have that pursed lip face, secret agent look, as his head bopped up and down to the music.  I figure it must be some kind of biologically induced mating dance left over from the caveman days.

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