No Baby Just A Bump

Last Sunday, at a party, I was chatting with a woman when abruptly she asked me if I was pregnant.
I said no (because I'm not) and then, in my usual milquetoast way, went on to try and make the woman feel better about her intrusive blunder.
She kept on putting her foot in it by reassuring me that her daughter, new mom to an eight month old, hadn't lost her baby weight either. I reminded her (since she'd always asked) that my youngest children, twins, were three and a half and that it was no longer baby weight, but just plain old weight and that it was not going anywhere any time soon.
Then I excused myself to get another drink and to tell my husband who was appropriately horrified. Then I put a sweater on over the skirt and top I was wearing, clothing I'd already made a mental note to donate to goodwill first thing Monday morning.
But it didn't end there. Later that same evening my friend Joan approached me to say that several people (acquaintances of the both of us) had approached her, wondering whether I was expecting after seeing me at a fundraising walk on Saturday.
I assured her I wasn't and reminded her that I'd just offered our remaining crib to her son and his wife who'll be returning to the U.S. from South America with their three-month-old son next month.
What was I wearing yesterday, I wondered - the tan halter-top dress with the built in bra. Damn. I thought I looked pretty good in that. Make that pretty good for a woman who looks like she's pregnant.
My friend assured me that it was only because I was so skinny that people noticed weight around my waist.
I told her I was going to stick my head in the oven.
Normally I do not spend much time obsessing about my weight or how my weight is proportioned. I do not hide my figure under baggy clothes. My husband still has sex with me. I'd rather read bedtime stories to my four kids than run to the gym at night. All is right with the world
Twice in one day though has to give one pause.
Is it me?
Or is it them?
Are there just people who can't stay out of your business?
When you're dating someone they want to know when you'll be engaged. When you're engaged they want to know when the wedding will be. When you're married they ask when you'll be having a baby and when you have one they want to know when you'll be "giving them a baby brother or sister." If you have four kids they want to know if you're "finished."
I guess all that's left is having someone ask me if I'm menopausal.
Which would still be better than being asked if I'm pregnant.


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